Thread: Rewriting poems

Someone rewrote my poem to help me
but I got extremely offended
Is there a reason why


The shutter of light
Bounced off our symphony of words
Love in our eyes resembled the night
As our moon glowed
Kisses of rain glistened our cheeks
Loves stars shined below
Our rain became our tears

A belief in more than one another
Our souls connecting faster than light
Slower than time
Saw through our words
Embraced our truth for love came

I like my poems and I can't seem them rewritten in a different way
being tweaked is a fine

If you are not open to critique then posting your work here might not be the right place. As I have found, this is a place to refine your work, get feedback from people to improve your writing skills, and to help others polish their skills by offering advice and critique.

As for my thoughts of your poem, I think this could use a bit of punctuation to help it flow a bit better. The content was okay, I do like how it felt very dreamy, though. The beginning for me was pretty weak, I felt you could have opened a bit more strong. This didn't grab me as very original, not to say it wasn't good or that it doesn't mean something to you. I just felt it was very impersonal and could be better if there was more insight and less generalized ideas and moments sort of meshed together.

Everyone gets a little distressed by critique. Sometimes even belligerent. It's part of the process. If you aren't willing to hear your audience, why should they listen to you? 1 poem I've written has taken a painstaking year of reading critiques, taking what criticism I think appropriate and re-writing, after all that people want me to change it. Even throw it away! But it was worth the journey. You need some distance between what you write and who you are--otherwise neither will grow.

It was on another site
and I didn't expect it to be fully rewritten

I liked it but I don't know

even though I didn't spend more than a few minutes on the poem


How do I make the beginning of my poem more stronger

no one should ever re-write a poem for someone else, that's just arrogant. the trick is to help people find their poems voice, and exploit it to relay a message or an idea so that it becomes universally felt.