Thread: cinquain

Are you sure about the fourth line? You already mentioned dancing in the third, how about something like:-
Up all night, no thought for feet, ouch

Killer
Sitting quietly
smoothing his perfect fur
nonchalant and totally aware
damn cat

now that you mention it, i'm not sure at all
although i did consider the two dances
and kind of liked the repetition
but i prefer your version

damn cat
in my garden
stalking honey eaters
quick! get the rifle and blow its
brains out

olly, where would i put the apostrophe for its in this instance?

i can never remember and pssst ... check your second and fourth line

You don't, it always confused me because I always wanted to put a possesive ' in, as in Ash's cinquain, but its is a whole word on its own, where you use it is where it's a substitute for 'it is' and the apostrophe replaces the missing letter.
Do I need to practice my syllable counting? I went.

Sit/ting quiet/ly

non/cha/lant/ and/ tot/ally aw/are

I guess it should be qui/et/ly and to/ tal/ ly? Was that it?

Poor pussy, that's a bit over the top, you were not the one Ox pictured shooting roos were you?

it is a bit, but it flowed so easily i went with it, i have a strong disdain for cats, sorry and as far as actually killing something, including a kangaroo *shakes head* not likely

that's what i was thinking regards the apostrophe, but wasn't too sure

and yep that's it, now you've got it :)

Disdain is a strange word to apply to cats, people usually see the cats as being disdainful, My Dad and my big brother were biology teachers, so I grew up with a very matter of fact attitude towards animals. I have owned a couple of dogs, mongrels that did what they were told, the ladies of the house have now imported a cat, it feels nice, keeps the lap warm and catches rats. But Towser caught rats without decimating the fieldmouse population, I digress.

Brain's out
of order and
making the lines run in
to one another most strangely
stressful

disdain is perfectly understandable when you're a bird lover :p

stressful
situation
having to explain, when
you're late home again from working
affair

Affair
To remember
But it isn’t, is it?
Roll around, in bed, cigarette?
Let’s not

let's not
discuss details
over our roast dinner
subtlety is not my greatest
asset

Originally Posted by Olly Buckle

the ladies of the house have now imported a cat, it feels nice, keeps the lap warm and catches rats.

Has Dave gone to that big cat-house in the sky?

It was Dave of whom I spoke. Disdain still seems wrong, to me it implies ignoring, or pretending to ignore, something with an air of condescension or scorn, not getting out there with a rifle.

asset
is not often
seen in the singular
Unless it is as the greatest
one has

Originally Posted by Olly Buckle

It was Dave of whom I spoke. Disdain still seems wrong, to me it implies ignoring, or pretending to ignore, something with an air of condescension or scorn, not getting out there with a rifle.

you're splitting hairs, olly - the disdain came when you asked me about cats, not everyone likes cats - so we'll just have to agree to disagree ...

Main Entry: disdain Part of Speech: noun Definition: hate; indifference Synonyms: antipathy, arrogance, aversion, contempt, contumely, derision, despisal, despisement, despite, dislike, disparagement, hatred, haughtiness, hauteur, insolence, loftiness, pride, ridicule, scorn, sneering, snobbishness, superbity, superciliousness Notes: contempt is a more engaged, more involved feeling of disapproval than disdain Antonyms: admiration, esteem, favor, like, love, praise, respect
Main Entry: disdain Part of Speech: verb Definition: scorn Synonyms: abhor, be allergic to, belittle, chill, contemn, deride, despise, disregard, hate, ignore, look down nose at, look down on, misprize, pooh-pooh, put down*, refuse, reject, scout, slight, sneer at, spurn, undervalue Antonyms: admire, approve, esteem, favor, praise, respect

... in fact, the more i think about it, the more i like it :)

one has
only to go
across the street to see
weird and wonderful characters
Prahran

The dictionary entry is correct, but the meaning ascribed to it by ash's usage is wrong. If one hates cats, one does not have a disdain for them. So in that context, Olly was right.

lol who made you the expert?