Thread: A rhyme in time

In this one you get the rhyming last words from an actual poem, you supply the rest of the line, three poems and we change the rhymes for a new set, (we can adjust the number if someone gets enthusiastic).
Here is the first set, from Pope, I have kept it to one verse.

............ detains
............ Chains
............ betray
............ Prey
............ insnare
............ Hair

The upper case is in the original but ignore it if you wish.

Only one 'bound to fail' idea??

I didn't want to be like some who simply keep re-hashing the same idea in a different form every time. But to quote the Rolling Stones, 'You can't always get what you want'.

The looks and charm that now detains
Will one day hold you fast in Chains.
Take care they then do not betray
They whom she once saw as Prey
Chased entraped and held insnare
In scented caverns of her Hair

Stuff like that is one of the reasons I avoid the Poetry forum.

Perhaps you should consider my motives then? If it was amazing nobody else would bother to enter. If it's a bit crap they might think "Even I could do better than that".

This more to your taste?


Some warder gleefully detains
Me with varied locks and Chains
Some rotten bludger did betray
And I became a coppers Prey
Off to Long Bay where they insnare
Me in a cell and shave my Hair

Where did you learn about the Bay and words like bludger?

But not bad, considering.



Actually, it was originally British slang = pimp, from obsolete bludgeoner.

You would be amazed the things I know, actually I thought it was simply the one with the bludgeoen who kept order for the man .

I thought it was a good idea Olly, I'm sad no one else did it. I'm not much of a poet, and this is a tad literal when compared with Poe, but I will try anyways:

Your stupid grin constantly detains
my heart from rhythms, this love in chains
And with only one look, I know I’d betray
ambitions reconsidered, I’m your prey
My lips are captives, when you insnare
my breath, my soul, my skin, my hair.

I think my heart, in fear detains
the hope to see you rot in chains.
A joy my smile will soon betray
as you, my fool, will be the prey.
You spun a web, thought to insnare
but soon, you'll be out of my hair.

That was great, coming on and finding two new additions. We really do get different takes this way, a third party admonishment (Old man's point of view I guess), the ensnared incurable romantic and the on your way independent modern gal from California, yet with something of the original style. Great stuff both of you.
That's four poems if we include the one for Ox, shall we try a new set of words? If we make them different we may get a different style of poem, and people can still try the previous set if they like.

Sure, I'm game. You pick the words, I think you're good at that and I have no ideas to put forth.

Agreed.

OK How different could I get I thout, AA Milne. When I look a lot of them don't have a rhyming scheme or repeat a lot or use proper names. This is from "Jonathan Jo" but I have left out the Jo, "Oh" rhyme.

Surprises
Bat
That
Size is
Ball
All
Merrier
Top
Stop
Terrier

It's a bit longer than the last because I have used two verses, guess you could split them if you wish.