Thread: Poll for the War challenge

Vote for you three favourite poems and leave your comments here please.


The Poems

Trying to post this thread got to me yesterday morning, first time I forgot to make it multiple questions, second to put a closing time on it, third the computer simply wouldn't accept it, still fourth time lucky.

It seems the poems fall into two categories, the particular and the general, personally it is the particular which affect me most.
Doc, by Jinxi certainly works well, though it is very wordy in places, consider,

“Looking around at the few men who have managed to live through this”
Which could so easily be ‘Looking round at the few survivors’
Or,
“The supplies were supposed to arrive today
But we received word that they are not coming at all
We do not have enough food, warm clothing or ammunition
To make it through another day”
Which would be tidier, and more telling, as,

‘Supplies were supposed to arrive today.
We received word they are not coming at all.
We do not have food, clothing or ammunition
To make it through another day.’
Nevertheless there is an affinity with the subject that makes it one of my favourite poems.
MJ Preston’s “The sergeant’s prayer” is another, simple, it gets across the bewilderment of an ordinary man at what is happening.
I have not decided where my third vote will go yet, not to the person who thought a limerick a suitable form for a poem about war I feel, what was he thinking of.

I am simply stunned by the number of entries and how each one captures a piece of my heart.
Well done, all! I am having a very, very hard time choosing only three.

There are so many different approaches and I am humbled that Olly would even mention me. Thanks Olly, though I hardly deserve it.

Apple's poem War of the World really stuck out for me because it speaks of war as though it is a living entity. From this I see a voracious monster that feeds the ego of man whilst beckoning his greed with riches and eating the innocents. Well done Apple! Your subtle ways invoked great thought from this old soldier.

It flattens little homes
with ego and heavy hammers,
proclaiming it’s truths for the winged wild
while pockets jingle

Glass Pencil's is short and hard which appealed to this impatient eye. Its aftermath and reference to the hounds that feast played well for me.

Where once stood scores there now stood none
all before a smoking gun
but bide, oh churl, the time and mission
all become at your admission

I can't remember who my third vote was. I was so tired, but Leyline's "The Left Behind", Baron's "Resonating Sounds" stuck out for me.

Overall an excellent soup of different ideas and ideals.

The ones who got my votes for the following reasons:

The despair and yearning for hope in MJ Preston's piece was palpable.

Leyline's was chocked full of well executed mini-narratives; every single of of them was sobering.

apple's writing skill is enviable!

There are definitely some heavy hitters in this forum, glad to be in good company!

Originally Posted by Olly Buckle

Doc, by Jinxi certainly works well, though it is very wordy in places, consider,

“Looking around at the few men who have managed to live through this”
Which could so easily be ‘Looking round at the few survivors’
Or,
“The supplies were supposed to arrive today
But we received word that they are not coming at all
We do not have enough food, warm clothing or ammunition
To make it through another day”
Which would be tidier, and more telling, as,

‘Supplies were supposed to arrive today.
We received word they are not coming at all.
We do not have food, clothing or ammunition
To make it through another day.’
Nevertheless there is an affinity with the subject that makes it one of my favourite poems.

Olly, I am honoured to have your vote on my poem. Thank you very much.
You are right, it is a bit wordy. Your rewrites would have been perfect. Thank you for your comments.

The entries are all outstanding. It is going to be so hard to decide!

It was a very tough choice, but Leyline, Baron and Nick got my three votes.

Wow, I didn't know there were that many people who signed up for this!

I'm going to have some trouble picking my top 3...

All great poems and shame, shame on whoever that one person who voted for mine was! (Thanks). Anyhow, I voted for Jinxi, Nick, and guy_fawkes.

I voted for Gumby because of her original approach to the theme. Baron's rhythm and natural rhyme, combined with sensory use of metaphor, won my vote also. Last but by no means least I voted for the Apocalyptic vision in TheFuhrer02's poem.

Apple, Lady S and Baron got my vote... votes?

Reasons: Apple's had some fantastic images, Baron's was a very fluent piece and Lady S's (lol @ how clumsy that is), had a unique and very good progression.

There were a lot of original and decent poems here, so well done to everybody who entered something.

Originally Posted by InsanityStrickenWriter

All great poems and shame, shame on whoever that one person who voted for mine was! (Thanks).

That's nothing, someone voted for the limerick!

Originally Posted by InsanityStrickenWriter

Anyhow, I voted for Jinxi, Nick, and guy_fawkes.

Thank you!

I am not sure who voted for my poem or why, but thanks. As a newbie, to the website and to writing, it is a little daunting to just jump right in with my thoughts. The emotions of the writers here is amazing. I need to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew about poetry and writing. Please be patient with my ignorance.

Originally Posted by chickadee123405

I am not sure who voted for my poem or why, but thanks. As a newbie, to the website and to writing, it is a little daunting to just jump right in with my thoughts.

Don't worry, this is a challenge rather than a competition, it is yourself you are challenging. A poll and a winner are necessary to set the next challenge, but in many ways we are all winners if we stretch ourselves a little and learn a little.