Thread: Fashion, the Voting Tthread

I was pleased this month when the first poem to be entered for the challenge came from a very new member, even more so because it is a very good poem, I particularly liked this

Its glassy eyes and seductive sneer,
snared with a lense in perfect light,
then caged between glossy pages.

The sibilant s’s of the first two lines, then the trap closes as the shutter flicks and we get the hard consonants of the third line with its internal rhyme of ‘cage’ and ‘page’.

I tried to move away from the obvious with my poem and took fashion as a verb rather than a noun, sometimes I am so predictable. One of my Christmas presents was the BBC book from the series The History of The World in 100 objects. The most successful piece of technology ever was the stone hand axe, we made them for around two million years. But, more to the point, Brain scans show that the parts of the brain used for knapping flint largely overlap those used for speech. It is likely that is when we started talking and thinking as well as fashioning.

Fashion, the voting thread.

Please give THREE VOTES, one for each of your favourite poems in the New year "fashion" challenge. This voting thread will be open for ten days.

Originally posted by Olly

Apple's poem got my first vote with no problem. Sondra, I don't think this is the first time you've made me smother my keyboard in coffee.

My second choice was for Baron's Africa. Such a great picture that really comes to life, not to mention the usual skilful use of poetic device made to work so naturally.

Gumby, yours was a beautiful image and another with that witty touch that finishes the poem so nicely.

Rob, you get my top vote. Brilliant piece that I read three times, and enjoyed each time.
Celeste and Lady S took my other votes, but it was very slim. I thought every poem here was wonderful. There was definitely a high standard this month.

I sent all our contestants a pm this morning in the hope of stimulating further comment:-
From Olly

I have closed the New Year “Fashion” poetry Challenge to new entries and opened a poll where you can vote for your favourite three poems and comment on the entries.
It would be foolish not to vote for your own piece, churlish not to vote for two others.
You are welcome to leave comments on your own and other people’s poems, remember critique is a two way thing, the more commentary we leave the more we will see. Explaining your poem and thinking may gain you votes, pointing out the errors of others might lose them votes, but remember, this is a two way process and there are reasons why we call it a “Challenge” rather than a “Competition”.
Hoping to see you all in the challenge thread, and best of luck everyone, Olly.

It seems I ruffled a few feathers amongst those that feel it bad form to vote for yourself, I am sorry, I should have included a smiley at that point, I admit, I have never voted for myself either. I was reasonably serious about discussing your own poems though, there could be some interesting insights to be had.

The social aspect and the imagery that says so much about contrasting lifestyles won my vote in Lady S's Versace Dreams. Apple got my second vote and Celeste had the third.

Olly deserves a special mention for his original take on the theme.

Those are some good entries.

I voted for Olly, Apple and ChestersDaughter, for their unique and very different twist on Fashion. Bravo to all, it was a very tough choice.

InsanityStrickenWriter, I loved the idea of fashion police being given a physical embodiment in some sort of neo-Nuremburg rally, but this was simply too wordy for me, for example,
From their altars,
And with their Holy Books,
Stand the Fashion Police,
Preaching about good look

Consider

From altars, with Holy Books
Fashion police preach good looks

Lady S, The different values applied to the fantasy and the reality is something that almost leaps at you when you start considering fashion, but,

Those track marks on the arm
of a girl with little charm
will cause Creation no concern,
there’s nothing she can learn

Contrast the self obsession and the lack of any justification for it so nicely and freshly, I liked that.

I'm not great at explaining why I like a poem, and I liked every single poem here, so my explanations will be a bit breif.

Celeste – The imagery was great. It reminded me of 3d animation I came across while learning how to use blender called Doll Face. It has to be one of my favourite blender videos just for it's sadness/weirdness. I also recommend the Elephants Dream and a couple others that I can’t remember.
Doll Face: YouTube - Doll Face
Gumby- Having the poem explore the girl's life in four stages (five if you include the prediction of 24) was clever, and I liked the wit.
Nick- Good imagery and rhythm, mixed with a touch of sadness.

Thanks Olly, I'll try and cut out the ammount of unneeded words in future

I voted for the Baron, Lady S and Celeste. Those three entries got that little bit extra out of the theme, in my opinion, although there were some other excellent entries I came very close to choosing.

I really like Nick's, but I was reading this verse,

How easy to fall her foundation!
So simple to press down, to spill
her dignity, respect, built knowingly
on her stiletto’s broken heel.

For a second I read 'foundation' as foundation make up, then it occurred to me how much is dependant on the punctuation, look

How easy to fall! Her foundation,
so simple to press down; to spill.
Her dignity, respect, built knowingly
on her stilettos; broken heel.

Apologies Nick

Originally Posted by Olly Buckle

Apologies Nick

No need for an apology here, Olly. I knew this might be a bit sketchy, but the pun on foundation was deliberate. However, I have to admit, I do prefer the alternative stanza you've presented me with, Olly. It seems a lot smoother, even with the added enjambment. Thank you for the advice!