Thread: First line challenge, 28/june/09

Thanks to The Ox for his prompt reply, we have a new first line challenge.


“As I pondered very weary o'er a volume long and dreary”

From Come-By-Chance ~ Banjo Paterson.

For those who are unfamiliar with the poetry of Mr Paterson it has an essentially Australian flavour and is well worth a read, for the purposes of the competition, however, you may take that first line in any direction you wish.

Please post your poems in this thread, it is supposed to be open for two weeks and then I will put a poll on it, long enough for everyone to write a poem surely?

Zwischenzug

As I pondered very weary o'er a volume long and dreary
I wondered when the bloody thing would end?
For hours I had rambled through this tale badly scrambled
winding up with an acute attack of the bends.

Oh writer of curt dribble please refrain from anymore scribble
for you do yourself an injustice with this tripe.
Go back to cooking hot dogs or loading great big heavy logs
co's your poetry and prose is utter shite.

Even though you cannot see this as ignorance is certain bliss
please keep those cliche'd words to yourself.
A notebook such as a diary is the place for tepid enquiry
regard feign love and conquest about one's self.

A Big Boring Book Has Many Uses


As I pondered very weary
o'er a volume long and dreary
my attention happened upon
an annoying horsefly.
Thank God for a distraction,
was my first reaction
if I had read one more page,
I surely would have died.


Flying past my ear, he landed
on the window screen
buzzing for his brothers
in an effort to get free.
I watched in fascination
as one hundred gathered
completely stunned at the volume
of the cacophony.

This awakened my husband,
who was not very pleased.
He hefted the heavy novel
and hurled it at the screen,
making me realize the book
was great for at least one thing:
smashing a bunch of horseflies
to fucking smithereens.

Book, screen, and horseflies
all disappeared from sight
and a loud yelp echoed
as they impacted the dog's head.
Which is the real reason
it became my favorite tome,
no manic barking ever escapes
from a dog that's dead.

Trips Through Time

As I pondered very weary
o'er a volume long and dreary
embarking on a drug induced haze
My thoughts elicit of Timothy Leary.

The long trips taken over autumnal days
Stepping over broken glass in a stilted maze
While comprising the Universalist theory,
was really nothing more than a phase.

The melee with blunt axes
while absconding with unused taxes
The melting shoreline dotting within,
long days hiding in grubby ditches.

In reflection surrounded by kit and kin
amorphously as an elder statesman,
I silently read the mumbled dogmas
Happily watching the sunset again.

A Nightmare.

As I pondered long and weary over a volume dull and dreary
My eyes became quite bleary
And so I nodded off to sleep and an appointment I did keep
With dreams where my imagination leaped.

At first I still pondered weary on that volume dull and dreary
But then I came on something scary.
I was asleep and it was fake, but in my dreams I jerked awake
And then I did a double take.

I strangely knew that I still slept, my appointment was not kept
To wakefulness I had not swept.
Twice more I tried, and twice I failed, before waking in life’s vale
But here’s the thought that makes me flail.

What if I am still dreaming? I might never wake up!

This thread is now closed to competitors and you are invited to vote on the poems to decide who chooses the next first line.

You are welcome, indeed you are encouraged, to enter your comments on the poems below. The stream of comments has reduced a bit of late but I expect this is simply "The stream reduced to it's summer seep". I was too lazy to go look it up so the quote may not be perfect, but it is true, there is more to do in summer and everything quietens down a little here so those of us left must TRY HARDER.

ChestersDaughter; Perhaps someone can enlighten me why this qualifies as a poem? I doesn't seem have any rhyme or rhythm to to it, but it does make sense, I said rhythm not reason. In fact it made me laugh out loud, no , not LOL, actually laugh, I think because it made a picture in my head of her angry husband sat up in bed and hurling the book. This might well get my vote.

but olly, CD's poem does infact rhyme, you must be tripping, man
and to be brutally honest, none are real flash, including mine
but my vote goes to eggo for the timothy leary reference
i only wish i had of thought of that rhyme - good one !
and i give CD's a special mention for her imagination

thanks for joining in guys, that was good fun :)

(pssst, it's the middle of winter down here, olly :p)

Dear Olly, What we do is called work for a good reason, but all work and no play makes Lisa a grumpy bitch. I was having fun. I wouldn't say the pieces are wonderful, but I know mine sucks. Eggo gets my vote for his last stanza. As ash said, my piece does rhyme, however poorly. I did not know I was allowed to break the starting line but here is how it should be read:

As I pondered very weary
o'er a volume long and dreary,
my attention happened upon
an annoying horsefly.
Thank God for a distraction,
was my first reaction,
if I had read one more page,
I surely would have died.

Flying past my ear, he landed
on the window screen,
buzzing for his brothers
in an effort to get free.
I watched in fascination
as one hundred gathered,
completely stunned at the volume
of the cacophony.

This awakened my husband,
who was not very pleased.
He hefted the heavy novel
and hurled it at the screen -
making me realize the book
was great for at least one thing -
smashing a bunch of horseflies
to fucking smithereens.

Book, screen, and horseflies
all disappeared from sight
and a loud yelp echoed
as they impacted the dog's head.
Which is the real reason
it became my favorite tome,
no manic barking ever escapes
from a dog that's dead.

The breaks help the rhythm some, but it still sucks. I am very glad I got you to laugh, which was the reason for this monstrosity in the first place. Thanks, ash, for your nod for my imagination, which I appreciated. And like ash, I agree, this was fun. Now I only hope this will post. My son is repairing a friend's computer and is hogging up the internet. All the WF pages start out as bare bones and slowly (very slowly) fill in. Did you know the smiley face that vomits is called a "puker" before it appears? Absolutely hysterical.
Wish me luck, here goes nothing...

Crap, I retyped the stupid thing all for naught, the edit of the original finally went through without my knowing. Sorry, guys.

This place has, in my opinion, hit bloody rock bottom. It appears whilst it's totally accepted by staff for bullying, abuse and contempt to be hurled about in the so called 'creative' sections by those following their own agendas, an entry to this was removed completely because - without obscenity or graphic descriptions - it alluded to a taboo subject.

I now have nothing but the utmost contempt for the hypocritical nonsense that fuels WF.

chestersdaughter, let me apologise
i should never have used the word sucks

when you were typing your response, i was editing mine
as i couldn't sleep, because the word 'sucks' was haunting my dreams

and i'm sorry you feel that way vincent, i'm also sorry your poem was deleted

*shrug*

i'd rather not get involved in forum politics these days, i've got better thngs to do

like get ready for work *looks at the time* shit !

No need for apologies, ash. Sucks didn't bother me in the least, it's the honest truth, at least regarding my mess. It wasn't necessary to edit, no harm done. May all your dreams be pleasant henceforth.

In my particular case, Ash, "sucks" is dead on.

Damn right it does! I know nothing of poetry and couldn't tell a stanza from a Monza, but I thought I'd swing in try something different for a change.

My vote went to Olly.


I had fun,

Thanks guys.

Poems don't have to rhyme, Olly. Never heard of free verse?

My vote went to eggo.