Thread: The High Cost of Truth 1 April '09

No, it's not an April fool's joke, it's the new subject for the LM poetry challenge. Sonnet, blank verse or limerick, write in the form of your choice, but write poetically and write on the subject of:-

The High Cost of Truth

She asked me (If I loved her)

She asked me if I loved her
And I told her the truth,
When she heard the answer
She went straight through the roof
But the questions that she asks me
Always have a certain twist
Or don't want me to be truthful
And I won't go on like this.

She asked me if I loved her
And I told her the truth,
When she heard the answer
She went straight through the roof
I said "Do not ask the questions
When you already know
Do not start on journeys
To places you don't go.
If there is love you can see it
If there isn't it would show
And you're not asking questions
Because you need to know."

I am so smiling.....cute....I loved everything about this....

Must it be about an actual cost, or may it simply be about the struggle and pain involved in finding the truth?

Interpret the subject in whatever way you wish.

Cool.




Verse in this time is simple and horrid,
And those who can rhyme ignore old sonnets.
Anything found now will of course be wretched.
Verse full of angst, written from narcosis,
I feel nearly as if it provokes on purpose.

Verse should be like the greatest convertos,
With an overture and inspired finish.
Surely the art must be at its nadir,
Surely its position may only rise from here.
My greatest hope is in that, I'll take part.

there are many types that ignore all the forms,
There are some who do not realize limits.
Perhaps I am a sybarite in truth,
And in truth, my ways my give them the right,
To wrack and ruin my pathetic self pity.

They do not deserve my undying loathing,
For something they do to help ease their own doubting.
And now I suspect that I hate from fear,
When I lash out at everything they now hold dear.
Mediocrity is their only crime.

I begin to believe it's only my own fears.
My deepest worries have now come to light.
I fear above all the loss of my sight,
I fear above all the dark without light.
I fear the loss of knowledge I have not yet gained.

I think it offends me that people will write,
Although it would not if they had writ some I liked,
Even if those who would do so find the classics, trite.
I eagerly await the coming of something I like,
Something I hope will be read to me, after I lose my sight.

Wow. Almost no one enters these, huh?

Friction Paper:
Every day you said you love me- more or less
each word you spoke was filled with phosphorus,
and when we kissed your tongue burned mine.
But then one day your tongue slipped, and with it came your lies.
And when I learned the truth, my heart burned itself inside.

Originally Posted by Jinn Master

Wow. Almost no one enters these, huh?

It has dropped off of late, fewer comments on the poems as well. I have tried promoting it in the poetry forums but it seems to make very little difference either way. There are far more views than entries or votes.

Bit sad.

I'd go somewhere else for better feedback if I could- but really, where else is there?

Hehe.

Tycho, Kepler, and Sir Galileo
Did grapple with the center
A god they searched for but found a riddle.

Aristotle had forms surely connected,
A truth built into a sytem:
Tycho, Kepler, and Sir Galileo.

The Romans would have no great interest.
Aribics more western than republics... .
A god they searched for but found a riddle.

O' the midevil's and their alchemy:
O' the latin's and their cause:
Tycho, Kepler, and Sir Galileo

O' the new physics so mechanical:
O' the revived atomism,
A god they searched for but found a riddle.

Religion, It's true we search for meaning,
It just never hits like Isaac's apple;
Tycho, Kepler, and Sir Galileo
A god they searched for but found a riddle

I'm sorry, my immediate reaction is that I should have closed this thread, but i usually leave it open in case people want to comment on the poems, if you look to the top you will see we had the poll and it closed yesterday. What I should have done is put a post in saying no more poems, sorry, I have been a bit preoccupied with personal stuff lately.
Religion, It's true we search for meaning
to
Religion, It's true we search for mentors

it would mean adjusting the next line as well slightly but it would give you centre/mentor from the first verse, tying together the ends. Perhaps a little too esoteric, but it did make me think and I did enjoy it, thank you.

Please note the post I am off to make in poetry in moment.

I like the poem, midevils is a lovely play on words, is it original? I like the contrast between the first and last where you use apple/riddle and avoid the obvious middle/riddle. May i suggest changing

I realized that the forum was closed after I had written the poem. It's been a while since I was on here or even written a poem, so when I noticed the challenge I got to work this morning. I cannot change "meaning" to "mentors," unfortunately. I think doing so would alter what I intended. I do, however, think that it could use a rewrite. I had little interest in rhyme when I wrote this, I choose to rely more on refrain (except apple/riddle). I think I will work rhyme into the rewrite though. The play on words is all original. Thanks for the crit.

Originally Posted by Cataclysmic

Friction Paper:
Every day you said you love me- more or less
each word you spoke was filled with phosphorus,
and when we kissed your tongue burned mine.
But then one day your tongue slipped, and with it came your lies.
And when I learned the truth, my heart burned itself inside.

First: this poem needs work.

BUT: the line "and when we kissed your tongue burned mine" is FANTASTIC.

But also, the rest isn't so hot.

I would: loose "more or less" (it more or less gets in the way and weakens)

I would loose "you spoke was"

I would keep the feeling, and find a dressier way to say it.

(not much help I know; I almost didn't comment, but that line is the best on this page, so...")