Thread: Turnup's Christmas Card

Turnup’s Christmas Card

Recently

The wife was makin’ Christmas cards
To send, come Christmas next
In Turnup’s thoughts, the ribbon box
Was the perfect place to nest

So

He snuck inside the tangled mass
An’ curled up in a ball
This curlin’ took some furlin’
He is chubby after all

When

The wife run out of Elmer’s
She went lookin’ fer some glue
Sure enough she found Super stuff
It was frikkin’ sticky too

Well

You might know the phone would ring
An’ it would be her sister
Yackety yak ‘fore she got back
Turnup woke an’ missed ‘er

Yaaaawwwnnn

He thought he’d check the table top
Fer unattended treats
But what he got, sure was unsought
Stuff was stickin’ to his feets

What th’ ???


He’d stick one out an’ shake it
But when he set it down
Tinsel, glitter and other litter
To his toes was bound

It gets worse

In amongst the clutter
Were brightly colored balls
When Turnup sat, imagine that
Got the picture ya’ll

Helllllp !

With a bowlegg’d, straddle, waddle
The poor cat tried to run
With hiss an’ spit an’ tizzy fit
An’ decorated buns

Stop, drop an’ roll Turnup !

The room was gettin’ smaller
As Turnup’s tensions grew
As super glued an’ paper shoed
Up the drapes he flew

Help’s on the way

That’s where the missus found him
Atop the curtain rod
She left the room to fetch the broom
“I’ll get you down, by God!”

Epilogue

To clean a cat by shaving
Might seem akin to sin
But scissors cuts around his nuts
Took me an’ two good men

Good Lord that is funny, almost fell off my chair laughing. Having had cats and being a maker of cards I can sure relate. Luckily I have dogs now, they can't get on the table

This was fun! I loved the language you used too, a very enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.

Poor Turnup! It seems he just doesn't enjoy any holiday.

Thanx all for reading and commenting on ol' Turnup. He's a re-occuring character from several stories and poems. He has a knack for getting to ...um ... situations. He's been hit with everything from lightning to a tampon ... but Turnup is a SURVIVOR!

Hehe that's so cute.

Purrrrrfectly delightful !!! Peace...Jul

Hey that was a really enjoyable read. Loved it.

Thanx all, Turnup says 'hey' and Merry Christmas!!!

I enjoyed the read. Your use of language and slang beautifully flowed with the innocent humorous little poem. I am looking forward to reading future Turnup writings.

Regards,

Adrian

Thanx Adrian;

Turnup's on a short hiatus. We were lookin' for a long hiatus, but th' price cut too severely into our beer money. GOT to have priorities you know.

fp