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Thread: First Paragraph of an Essay

  1. #1
    phu
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    First Paragraph of an Essay

    I mainly want to know if I can use both present and past tenses without confusing the readers, but other suggestions are also welcome. Thanks.

    -

    Fathers traditionally provide for the family while mothers stay home and care for the children. Even after more women entered into the workforce and favored career over family, the majority of mothers remained responsible for household responsibilities and the well-being of children. In the case of a divorce, a judge normally awarded child custody to the mother and required the father only to pay child support. Many family-oriented TV shows in the late 1990s still showed the father leaving for work in the morning as the mother made breakfast and dealt with the children for the rest of the day.

  2. #2
    kaybee
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    I think your paragraph works fine. The switching of tenses is primarily noticed in a narrative, where there's a plot that's moving forwards/backwards. In an essay it's less noticable.

    What's your essay about? Men and Women's roles in society?

    Good luck

  3. #3
    Ink Slinger The Backward OX's Avatar
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    Perhaps it might be better to change the "provide" to "provided" (and the "stay" to "stayed" and the "care" to "cared"). Not so much for consistency of tense but to more accurately reflect reality, as shown in your second sentence.
    Last edited by The Backward OX; 06-11-2008 at 10:44 AM.

  4. #4
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    You should probably change the following sentence to present tense unless you are going on to imply that this has trend has changed....

    In the case of a divorce, a judge normally awarded child custody to the mother and required the father only to pay child support.

  5. #5
    Scribe Lester Burnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by granty1 View Post
    You should probably change the following sentence to present tense unless you are going on to imply that this has trend has changed....

    In the case of a divorce, a judge normally awarded child custody to the mother and required the father only to pay child support.
    x2 here,

    Try: In the case of divorce, a judge normally awards child custody to the mother and requires the father only to pay child support.

    Note: for efficiency, I would also omit "a" divorce.
    Suppose they had a gender war and men showed up?

    http://www.avoiceformen.com

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