I don't know were to put this, so I figured this would be better than nowhere. Please move it though, if it is in the wrong section. Also: Warning: Strong language used.
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I Bleed for You
I don’t know what to do anymore.
Those pictures got me again, and this time I really, really wanted to bleed. Not only to invite the pain, a good pain compared to what those fucking pictures have already done to me, but I can’t convince myself to it this time. I figure there’s got to be some good in everything, so why not pain?
I haven’t the slightest clue who to go to for this. I can’t ask God, because that would only be selfish, and I can’t tell her, She’d just laugh and walk away. Besides, she’s in ‘love’.
So fuck it, I’ll write it down.
And because I don’t feel like opening up another hole the size of a crater on my arm, I think I’ll just go ahead and bleed, right on this fucking piece of paper. Excuse me self, while I go to the corner and pour some more blood onto my pen. That way, I can leave something to remind me of her later on in life. Remind myself of how much of a loser and a dumbass I am, for never telling her how I felt.
They say that there’s no such thing as ‘never too late’, but those bastards have obviously never been in love before. For me, there was only one perfect opportunity to tell her how I felt about her, and that opportunity slipped out the window almost two years, two months and seven days ago.
Now, because I have no other way of coping with this… pain, and hatred for myself, I think I’ll try and drown it out with some music. The heavy shit. Maybe the volume on my computer will be loud enough to suffocate the damned voices in my head that continue to express how much of an obsessive failure, and overall fucked up individual I am.
I just hope it’s loud enough; otherwise this is going to one hell of a night.
And maybe, just maybe – if I’m lucky enough – there won’t be a tomorrow.



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