The Wobbling Timeline - Writers Forum

LolliAdverbs · 04-16-2008, 07:04 PM

EDIT: Taken down for the time being, since it has been submitted to a journal.

September · 04-21-2008, 12:25 PM

That was really good! *shot for giving feedback as 'good'* But it was well-written and easy to follow, not bogged down at all. It had just the write of humour and amount of words. I actually read through the whole piece, which is saying a lot for me because I don't usually like this sort of thing but you made it interesting enough.

LolliAdverbs · 04-22-2008, 04:59 AM

You know, I have the same problem with this sort of piece. Maybe knowing the way I am made it a little less boring to go through. *crosses her fingers* at least I hope so.

Thanks so much for the comment.

virginia · 04-24-2008, 06:20 PM

I really liked this piece. It was a pleasure to read, moving on at a good pace and holding my interest. It was, after all, a glimpse - for me - of a completely different world. And you were doing it all (the teaching) in Japanese! Wow, I am quite in awe! Very brave of you.

What do I think of the Time-Line idea? Well, actually I think you should be glad yours was difficult to put together. I'm one of the ones with the big accidents and things that stand out in memory. Interesting - useful sometimes (empathy, etc.) - but not always easy to live with.

I actually think you should try submitting this to some sort of teaching magazine or anthology of teachers' writings.

Good work. 9 out of 10 (couple of typos!).

Virginia

virginia · 04-24-2008, 06:25 PM

Sorry, meant to check the way it was written: 'timeline', one word. I'll remember in future!

V.

LolliAdverbs · 04-24-2008, 08:15 PM

Gah! There were typos? I checked this thing over and over, and had other people help me.

Damn... I always screw myself with typos.

I did actually submit it, but I won't know if it made it in until July-ish.

As for the empty timeline, I think I'd like yours! At least then I know I lived (and survived)! I sort of freaked out in class when I discovered how... nothing... my life was.

Thanks for the comments. Teaching English in Japan is pretty much the only job you can do as a foreigner here, so I'm conditioned to think it's an embarassingly common job

It's pretty stressful, but a lot of fun. The students are usually just happy to have the chance to see real live blonde hair once a week (they feel betrayed now that I died it brown last week), but they can be horribly shy sometimes. Just getting them to say "I'm fine, thank you" can be a struggle.

But one thing is for certain, I understand how difficult English really is. I'm teaching word emphasis right now... and let's just say... they're not getting it

ttrium · 04-24-2008, 09:52 PM

I really enjoyed this! I think it's really something.

As far as any critique, I only have one, and it's one that may be discarded at will, as it is, for me, only a matter of preference. I wouldn't have used 'desperately' so often. Perhaps another adjective...a synonym. Just a matter of preference.

Wonderful piece, Lolli!