Thread: Baton Rouge Apple Store closes after three days

Baton Rouge Apple Store closes after three days

When the city’s new Apple Store opened its doors on Thursday, March 6, the crowd was enormous, and the lines were stretched for what seemed like miles. It was an event similar to the release of a popular video-game console or a long-awaited comic-book-based movie.

Some Baton Rouge residents wondered if the store would contribute to the growing traffic problem around town, while technology enthusiasts wondered what took Apple so long to bring a retail location to the city.

Those questions were rendered obsolete, however, when Apple Inc. announced the closure of the new store on Saturday, March 8 due to lack of sales.

In a press release issued by the company, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said, “We were very pleased with the turnout of the Thursday grand opening. Unfortunately, devastatingly weak sales numbers in the first two days of business have forced us to close the Baton Rouge Apple Store’s doors indefinitely.”

The release said that while Apple’s products are strongly gaining popularity all over the world, Baton Rouge is not quite ready for the “innovative, technology-pioneering fantastic power that Apple strives to offer in this growing industry of yuppie assholes.”

Sarah Anderson, former Baton Rouge Apple Store employee, said she understands why the store had to close so suddenly.

“Once we had given away all those T-shirts, it was a wasteland,” said Anderson. “We had the occasional customer trickle in on Friday, but we sold absolutely nothing since the store opened.”

Anderson said most customers came in to try out the computers on display – and some would even stay for several hours – but they would ultimately leave empty-handed.

“Everyone likes the idea of Apple products being available,” she said. “They’re shiny and sleek, and fun to play with – but that’s about it.”

Sociology junior Troy Henson, who camped out at the Apple Store on Thursday morning to get his free T-shirt, said he couldn’t see himself going back to actually buy anything.

“I told him [a store employee] I was looking to buy a notebook,” Henson said. “His eyes lit up. I needed a basic one for Internet and school stuff, and he told me he had the perfect notebook for me.”

But when the young student, who works part-time on campus, told the employee he was willing to spend as much as $549, “he grabbed a spiral-bound note pad from the back room and slapped an Apple sticker on it,” Henson said.

“I guess I’ll stick with Windows,” he added.

There is a social stigma attached to Microsoft Windows users, the student said, which is why he got the free Apple T-shirt to compensate for his small budget.

All of the Baton Rouge retail location’s merchandise has been sent back to Apple’s shipping warehouse, where Jobs hopes it will sell more quickly. In several months, however, the company said it would incinerate the unsold products to make room for a new generation of iPhones and piss off its loyal customer base.

In the mean time, Baton Rouge residents will no longer be able to locally interact with Apple electronics, but must instead revert back to casually enjoying Apple’s “Mac vs. PC” commercials on YouTube using their Dell and Toshiba laptops.

You'd think they'd give it more than three days before they closed it down! I mean, Jesus! What, were they expecting the entire country to purchase stuff from it? I don't get when people do stuff like that.

BTW, that was a satire article

Damn it, Stephen, lol. You should really put a disclaimer on those things.

Sam.

Nice statement. I got a G5 for christmas a few years ago, though, and it really was WAY better than an PC I've ever had. The hardware compatibility and OS alone justify the higher price.
The damn thing broke after a year, though. I've also gone through five iPods. They just keep breaking. I'm on linux now until I can afford to fix my Mac.

iPods really are a disaster. Over the last eighteen months, I've had four of them break. Granted, the first's battery life died. But the other three just gave in. And I wouldn't mind, but I bought one of the new 'iPod classics' for Christmas - it didn't even come with a charger! I mean, how f**ked up is that? What if you're buying one for the first time? You have to go back and buy the charger separate? And they used to put in those little things that slotted into the area where your charger plugs in - you know, to protect it from dust. They don't even do that anymore. It's like they want the f**king things to break.

Sam.

I was lucky enough to get an operator who was cool the first time mine broke. She told me to spend 60 bucks on the 2yr extended plan that would get me unlimited replacements everytime the ipod broke. I went ahead and bought it, something I normally don't do with warranties, and it paid off big time. It broke like four more times in that 2yr span, and they would send me a new one each time, they even recustomized the engraving I had on the back. It was a super quick swap each time too. The box would be there literally the next day or same day if I reported it early in the morning.

I would think the service plan was a scam for an extra 60 bucks, but I can't imagine they made money off five brand new replacements.

Any product that has a failure rate greater than the XBOX360 shouldn't even be on the market.

And yeah, I own both an iPod and an XBOX360.