Behold the Super Couple
MY FAVORITE television series as a child was
Boy Meets World. Ah, good old Cory and Topanga. They were living (er, fictional) proof that childhood crushes could blossom into romance, and high-school sweethearts
do have a chance. And with a connection as strong as theirs, nothing could ever tear them apart for long. If they couldn’t last, god help the rest of us.
Cory and Topanga embody the definition of a “Super-Couple.” It’s a word I use to describe the type of couple that somehow becomes the standard for which other couples should function. Many people view a Super-Couple as one who appears absolutely perfect, like a Mike and Carol Brady or Ward and June Cleaver. But maybe deep down, the true Super-Couple is comprised of two people who just know how to deal with each other.
If you’ve ever seen what you might call a Super-Couple, you probably noticed how they always seem to do everything together and agree on everything … together – together, together, together. The Super-Couple has been together for years, or it sure as hell seems like it. They are practically married, and they even talk like a married couple. What’s worse is that they are still lovey-dovey with each other in public after all those years of being with the same person. My word, is there
anything wrong with them?
And that’s when other couples fall into the trap; they admire the Super-Couple to the point that every other couple’s success is contingent upon what happens to the Super-Couple in the long run. If it doesn’t work out with the Super-Couple, what hope does anyone else have? The high divorce rate in the United States makes it easy to get discouraged about long-term romance. After comparing yourselves to a couple who seems to have no problems, you conclude that their relationship is just infallible and your romances, past or present, can’t measure up to that.
For a good example, I can relate back to
Boy Meets World, when young Super-Couple Corey and Topanga went through a devastating breakup after Topanga’s parents announced their divorce. In Topanga’s eyes, her parents, Jedediah and Rhiannon (or was it Chloe?), had a love that no one else in the world could come close to mirroring.
Seeing this plotline play out was more frustrating than the fact that Chloe’s name changed to Rhiannon later in the series for no good reason – and Jedediah was played by The Monkees’s Peter Tork and then later by Mark Harelik. He’s nine years younger and looks nothing like Peter Tork! Why!
Anyway, it was obvious that Jedediah and Chl-Rhiannon were a Super-Couple to Topanga, and she made the mistake of basing the feasibility of love on the success of her parents.
I know of at least one person outside of TV who actually ended her relationship when a couple she had looked up to dearly broke it off after more than five years. That’s not the norm, obviously. Usually, the couple who previously idolized the now-parted Super-Couple won’t completely give up hope. But it does bring unnecessary negativity into their relationship. Someone becomes skeptical about being able to sustain anything long-term, and if and when the opportunity for commitment presents itself, it won’t happen, because someone is scared to death of failing. After all, the Super-Couple couldn’t make it in this cruel, loveless world. So no one can.
Do any of these idolizing couples ever bother to find out
why the Super-Couple broke up?
Being a Super-Couple has nothing to do with being “perfect,” never fighting, or appearing incredibly romantic even on rainy days. It has nothing to do with being better or more successful than other relationships. What makes a Super-Couple so “Super” is that they know how to perform. No, I’m not saying that all Super-Couples are just dysfunctional relationships in disguise. It’s quite the contrary, actually. Many couples are able to hide conflict in the presence of others and deal with it maturely and properly. They don’t want to bother the general public with their arguments or issues, and they sure as hell don’t want to be judged. They live a life of peace and, most of all, normalcy. And I suppose that’s what makes them a Super-Couple, until they break up.
To other couples, such a performance can be perceived as one of two extremes: either it’s a performance to hide serious, deep conflict, or it’s simply perfection. It’s usually neither, however, and most couples don’t realize that everyone puts on a performance to hide at least a little bit of imperfection. Thus, it almost appears that “good” couples never fight – not that any of us believe that for one second. But it’s a nice thought.
So, why would a Super-Couple break up? Well, if we’re going with the traditional definition of a Super-Couple, they would not break up at all. There are far less of these so-called “Super-Couples” than people think, because when that Super-Couple breaks up, they weren’t really such a thing to begin with, or at least they aren’t anymore. They had problems just like the rest of us, but maybe they weren’t able to resolve them in the end. Maybe it was not technically a “problem,” as sometimes people just grow apart and decide it’s best to break it off – but that’s certainly not Super-Couple material.
In the case of Topanga’s parents, Jedediah left his wife for another woman, rendering this “Super-Couple” nonexistent. The true definition of a Super-Couple still lies with my initial example, Corey and Topanga. While some of their problems were evident to the public (and they were big issues sometimes, as per TV show drama demands), they were still able to solve them, and they still loved each other. If you want to believe in the Super-Couple, that’s all the definition you need.
I hope that by mentioning the term “Super-Couple” more than twenty-five times in this segment, you have become disgusted and decided that it is not welcome in your vocabulary. The Super-Couple might exist, but you have far too much work to do in your own relationship to worry about them.
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