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Old 01-10-2008, 06:04 PM   #1
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Behold the Super Couple

The following is an excerpt from the book I'm writing. Rough draft, obviously.
Behold the Super Couple

MY FAVORITE television series as a child was Boy Meets World. Ah, good old Cory and Topanga. They were living (er, fictional) proof that childhood crushes could blossom into romance, and high-school sweethearts do have a chance. And with a connection as strong as theirs, nothing could ever tear them apart for long. If they couldn’t last, god help the rest of us.

Cory and Topanga embody the definition of a “Super-Couple.” It’s a word I use to describe the type of couple that somehow becomes the standard for which other couples should function. Many people view a Super-Couple as one who appears absolutely perfect, like a Mike and Carol Brady or Ward and June Cleaver. But maybe deep down, the true Super-Couple is comprised of two people who just know how to deal with each other.

If you’ve ever seen what you might call a Super-Couple, you probably noticed how they always seem to do everything together and agree on everything … together – together, together, together. The Super-Couple has been together for years, or it sure as hell seems like it. They are practically married, and they even talk like a married couple. What’s worse is that they are still lovey-dovey with each other in public after all those years of being with the same person. My word, is there anything wrong with them?

And that’s when other couples fall into the trap; they admire the Super-Couple to the point that every other couple’s success is contingent upon what happens to the Super-Couple in the long run. If it doesn’t work out with the Super-Couple, what hope does anyone else have? The high divorce rate in the United States makes it easy to get discouraged about long-term romance. After comparing yourselves to a couple who seems to have no problems, you conclude that their relationship is just infallible and your romances, past or present, can’t measure up to that.

For a good example, I can relate back to Boy Meets World, when young Super-Couple Corey and Topanga went through a devastating breakup after Topanga’s parents announced their divorce. In Topanga’s eyes, her parents, Jedediah and Rhiannon (or was it Chloe?), had a love that no one else in the world could come close to mirroring.

Seeing this plotline play out was more frustrating than the fact that Chloe’s name changed to Rhiannon later in the series for no good reason – and Jedediah was played by The Monkees’s Peter Tork and then later by Mark Harelik. He’s nine years younger and looks nothing like Peter Tork! Why!

Anyway, it was obvious that Jedediah and Chl-Rhiannon were a Super-Couple to Topanga, and she made the mistake of basing the feasibility of love on the success of her parents.

I know of at least one person outside of TV who actually ended her relationship when a couple she had looked up to dearly broke it off after more than five years. That’s not the norm, obviously. Usually, the couple who previously idolized the now-parted Super-Couple won’t completely give up hope. But it does bring unnecessary negativity into their relationship. Someone becomes skeptical about being able to sustain anything long-term, and if and when the opportunity for commitment presents itself, it won’t happen, because someone is scared to death of failing. After all, the Super-Couple couldn’t make it in this cruel, loveless world. So no one can.

Do any of these idolizing couples ever bother to find out why the Super-Couple broke up?

Being a Super-Couple has nothing to do with being “perfect,” never fighting, or appearing incredibly romantic even on rainy days. It has nothing to do with being better or more successful than other relationships. What makes a Super-Couple so “Super” is that they know how to perform. No, I’m not saying that all Super-Couples are just dysfunctional relationships in disguise. It’s quite the contrary, actually. Many couples are able to hide conflict in the presence of others and deal with it maturely and properly. They don’t want to bother the general public with their arguments or issues, and they sure as hell don’t want to be judged. They live a life of peace and, most of all, normalcy. And I suppose that’s what makes them a Super-Couple, until they break up.

To other couples, such a performance can be perceived as one of two extremes: either it’s a performance to hide serious, deep conflict, or it’s simply perfection. It’s usually neither, however, and most couples don’t realize that everyone puts on a performance to hide at least a little bit of imperfection. Thus, it almost appears that “good” couples never fight – not that any of us believe that for one second. But it’s a nice thought.

So, why would a Super-Couple break up? Well, if we’re going with the traditional definition of a Super-Couple, they would not break up at all. There are far less of these so-called “Super-Couples” than people think, because when that Super-Couple breaks up, they weren’t really such a thing to begin with, or at least they aren’t anymore. They had problems just like the rest of us, but maybe they weren’t able to resolve them in the end. Maybe it was not technically a “problem,” as sometimes people just grow apart and decide it’s best to break it off – but that’s certainly not Super-Couple material.

In the case of Topanga’s parents, Jedediah left his wife for another woman, rendering this “Super-Couple” nonexistent. The true definition of a Super-Couple still lies with my initial example, Corey and Topanga. While some of their problems were evident to the public (and they were big issues sometimes, as per TV show drama demands), they were still able to solve them, and they still loved each other. If you want to believe in the Super-Couple, that’s all the definition you need.

I hope that by mentioning the term “Super-Couple” more than twenty-five times in this segment, you have become disgusted and decided that it is not welcome in your vocabulary. The Super-Couple might exist, but you have far too much work to do in your own relationship to worry about them.
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Old 01-10-2008, 07:49 PM   #2
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I think that I missed the point of this whole thing. There really is no such thing as a super-couple, as far as I am concerned. anyway, this is not to say that your presentation was not good........ cg
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Old 01-10-2008, 08:24 PM   #3
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Super-Couples can exist, depending on your definition. Either way, there's no point in trying to live up to something that may or may not be real.
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Old 01-10-2008, 09:18 PM   #4
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Nice pop culture references. I watched Cory and Topenga when I was little, but I grew out of it (literally, age wise) after a couple seasons. I think Topenga was hotter early on, but she did get those huge tits.

Fun read.
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Old 01-11-2008, 05:55 AM   #5
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haha, ah yes Tapanga and Corey I used watch that way over here in sunny England. I liked your segment, i think it gives people a dose of realism. You could have added the pop culture references that exist in films. Where people seemingly have perfect relationships but behind closed doors it falls to pieces. Successful relationships are about give and take, maybe people dont always see this in the Super-Couple. At the ripe old age of 22 I have never seen a super couple except once! They seem to have succeeded because of their Christianity, the belief that there is more to there relationship than themselves. God is also involved. If your agnostic like myself then you cant use that route! StephenP - It would be interesting to get a contents of the book, would like to see more of it. Cheers
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Old 01-11-2008, 01:23 PM   #6
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Hmm, I suppose I'll share my rough list of what I'm including in the book. (Note to web surfers: please don't steal. Thanks)

They are color-coded by chapter, and the ones in bold are those I have already written. Note: these are topics, not titles.

1.Debunking the idea of fate
2.How can you tell if someone likes you?
3.Pursuing someone you like
4.Choosing between two people
5.What does it mean to be compatible?
6.Compromising and retaining standards
7.being a virgin in college
8.Inter-office relationships
9.New Relationship Syndrome
10.Dating someone with no experience
11.low self-esteem people
12.Gift-giving
13.The evolution of love
14.PDA
15.Compromising time together
16.Pet names and couple quirks
17.How to talk to him
18.How to talk to her
19.when the parents don’t approve
20.Friends who meddle
21.When he's friends with the ex
22.Double Dates
23.Super-couple
24.Looking at other women/men in public
25.A relationship with no privacy
26.Surprise, she has a kid.
27.Long distance
28.When it gets old
29.abusive relationships
30.Snooping
31.Cheating
32.Being romantic five years later
33.Making time when you’re busy
34.Maintaining a healthy sex life
35.living together
36.Married and in college
37.Breaking up
38.the rebound
39.Revenge with private photos
40.You don’t have to be in a relationship
41.Short one-liner Q&As
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Old 01-13-2008, 06:44 AM   #7
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Thanks!
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Old 01-14-2008, 12:47 AM   #8
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I think this was very well written. I loved the pop culture references and the presentation was great!

The one part that bothered me were the lines:
"Seeing this plotline play out was more frustrating than the fact that Chloe’s name changed to Rhiannon later in the series for no good reason – and Jedediah was played by The Monkees’s Peter Tork and then later by Mark Harelik. He’s nine years younger and looks nothing like Peter Tork! Why!

Anyway, it was obvious that Jedediah and Chl-Rhiannon were a Super-Couple to Topanga, and she made the mistake of basing the feasibility of love on the success of her parents."

It could be personal preference but I think that it's just too much of a digression which seems aggravated by the use of "anyway" to restore the train of thought as it highlights the digression.

Other than that minor pet peeve I think that as a whole, it's great!
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