Thread: Living with Schizophrenia

The worst part of living with schizophrenia is divvying up the world between reality and the world which exists solely in your mind. Did the person next to me just ask a question, or was it a figment of my immensely overactive imagination? Should I give credence to that nagging suspicion that the person I just talked to hates me, or is the notion a delusion, a paranoid brain tic rippling through my conscious thought process?

Such circumstances compel a person to change their previous habit and lifestyles to accommodate the new world they were thrust into, kicking and screaming. Unfortunately for people who are afflicted with this plague of the mind, it is not just mundane, everyday life which is subject to change, but the very being itself. Schizophrenia is nothing short of a life changing experience, as traumatic as any physically tangible abuse which the world can throw at a person. Anyone who comes out of the tunnel alive (I.E. the course of psychosis, medication, hospitalization, and perhaps even suicide attempts) comes out a stronger person mentally. But they come out a different person than they were before. Being ridiculed, torn down, worn down, kept awake for hours on end by ceaseless berating voices makes life a battle. Just as veterans of battle are often subject to post-traumatic stress disorder, so anyone who fights mental wars will be scarred.

My previous point may take some explaining, for those uninitiated to the world of, or unfamiliar with, schizophrenia. Say one is under the very real (albeit irrational) impression that the mafia, CIA, DHS, INS, or FBI is coming after them to do some horrible things to them. To further the example, lets say this person believes that just outside of their window, a man with a chainsaw already revved up to go is just waiting for the chance to rip his way inside his or her home. Then let’s say this person opens the door, waiting for the man with the chainsaw to appear and chop them to shreds. Is that experience any less real than an actual situation where a man with a chainsaw is going to kill said person? I would argue, no it isn’t. Thus, their mental anguish is translated into an actual physical experience of fear, triggering the fight or flight response. Physiologically, the schizophrenics experience is as real as any tangible experience.


Once achieves a measure of sanity, they must face the regular woes and difficulties of everyday life. And since their experience has transformed them mentally, they must realign themselves with society, and relearn things they may have forgotten during their period of psychosis. This is where the real problems begin. Paranoia, in my opinion, can be subdued, but never tamed wholly. Like the Id, it is kept bottled up in the subconscious before it bubbles up, or, in the case of the schizophrenic, trickles, bit by bit into the conscious mind. Thus the schizophrenic must deal with filtering their world between the phantoms of delusional paranoia and what is actually occurring, much like the process of the super-ego. This process creates tension and stress, which can cause a relapse of full blown psychosis.

Interesting.

I liked the argument of 'Physiologically, the schizophrenics experience is as real as any tangible experience.'

Thought-provoking. Out of interest, have you been/are you schizophrenic?

It seems to me that you stick to schizophrenia as hallucinations. What about schizophrenia of the psyche, without an physiological response?

I've had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a schizophrenic uncle who had several other problems coupled with it, including mental retardation. You're right... it's a journey.

thedreamweaver, yes I am schizophrenic, although I have achieved great strides in my path to recovery. Glad you liked it.

Shawn, in my opinion, the physiological responses to the artificial stimuli which schizophrenia presents to the sufferer are inseperable from the psychological effects of the illness.

As for your uncle, I am sorry for both him and you for having to deal with such an illness. Sometimes I question the existence of god, and why he would allow such a Hell-on-Earth for his creation. I waver between belief and agnosticism due to this quandry.

It gives me hope to read that someone can come to realise that they have the illness. Since, I had someone in the family who could not agree to treatment. Even though some things he said indicated that he knew he was ill, he could not make the connection that some of his perceptions were not real before he passed away.

Now it seems I have a housemate who is mildly schizophrenic. My other housemate has no expereince of the disease and took as a personal afront, accusations that were made against him.

Cipher2, I am sorry to hear about your experiences. The first step towards recovery (as I imagine the first step in AA entails) is admiting there is something wrong. IMHO, the sufferer needs to realize themselves that there is something not quite right. Any external attempts to convince them of this is an effort in futility, and could in fact reinforce their paranoia by confirming their delusions.

What is it that makes you suspicious your housemate has schizophrenia, if I may ask?

Yeah I am not going to try to convince anyone. I know what happens with that. I have a house-mate who believes that another house-mate is letting people into the house in order to poison him, and he keeps taking this chinese medicine to counter-act the 'effects'. Since I already have experience with this all I can do is say..ok who have you seen in the house? He can't answer this. There are other symptoms as well.

Unfortunately, schizophrenia often manifests itself during the college years, a time of high stress and transition. It does sound like your friend is psychotic. I wish I had some advice I could give you, I really do, but I am at a loss for words at the moment.

This is very interesting edgewise, thank you. I know a man who I believe is a paranoid schizophrenic (He has run off into live in the woods a few times because he believes that the apocalypse is coming). That is beside the point I suppose.

The idea that the mind MAKES an even real is interesting and reminds me of "The Doors of Perception", which articulates on the effects of psychedelic drugs; saying that the experience can be so influential to a person because the mind does not know what is real and what is not.

This is a very thought provoking piece that encompasses a lot of their life into several short but deep paragraphs. I thought it was very well written and the content is beautifully articulated in a way that can appeal to the readers mind and give them the examples that they feel.

It sheds light on the problem of schizophrenia and hopefully it will give light to those that lost it.

Originally Posted by Edgewise

Unfortunately, schizophrenia often manifests itself during the college years, a time of high stress and transition. It does sound like your friend is psychotic. I wish I had some advice I could give you, I really do, but I am at a loss for words at the moment.

It's something I have dealt with before so it's not that difficult. It is harder dealing with my other housmates reactions and the feud.

I worked in youth mental health for a number of years and dealt a little with this illness and many more. You did a great job of explaining the experience in a way that most people can understand and I think this piece was very well written. Your word choice is very effective.

I also liked that you pointed out that the fears experienced are very much real to the individual and result in physiological responses as well. Too many of my fellow staff couldn't make this connection and scolded or punished these adolescents for "faking," "overreacting" or "attention-seeking."

I'd be very interested to read more of your experiences if you'd be so inclined to share. If you do, drop me a pm so I don't overlook it, if you will.

A little nit-picky thing, I know but I think you left out a word that threw me off here.

Once one? achieves a measure of sanity, they must face the regular woes and difficulties of everyday life.

Sock, you caught on to the most important part of the essay; the blury line between reality and perception.

Tri (sorry, your name is very hard to spell ), glad you liked it.

Cipher, often, stigma and the reactions of the "normal" people surrounding the schizophrenic is the second most dangerous enemy of the afflicted, other than his or herself of course.

Foggy, unfortunately, one cannot fully describe the experience of the schizophrenic...the closest I can come to doing so is by writing this essay, and directing people to the amazingly apt phrase, "hell on earth". I am writing a poem about schizophrenia, and will post it in the Poetry section of this site. If you wish, I will PM you a copy of it, so it doesn't escape your attention. And as for the error you pointed out, by "one", I meant the "individual".

Thanks for reading, empathizing, and responding to this piece everyone. I truely appreciate it.

P.S. Sorry, Foggy, but the shit I experienced with this illness is of a far to personal nature to share with anybody, except my immediate relations. I appreciate your interest though.

Understandable. I appreciate the courage it takes to share what you have.