Thread: funambulist

by Aimee Friedland
I haven’t sat down to write – in English – for a very long time.
I’m sick of trying to be an academic – or an artist – in the Russian language. So here, I’ve finally written a lengthy post in my native tongue, and I feel so relieved.

I consider written language to be more of an art than anything. I write because I feel, and I want to preserve and validate my emotions on paper. It’s even better when I can create something beautiful out of it.
My main goal in life has always been simple: to create beauty. Over the years the mediums have varied – drawing, painting, photography, filmmaking, music performance, music composition, and of course writing. You name it, I did it – and with a passion, at that.
But alas, I truly believe that Russian has no place in my grand scheme of creative beauty. And don’t try to tell me otherwise. It just so happens that I am here studying, enjoying my surroundings, communicating with different types of people, and gaining valuable experience. Sounds like a great life, sure, but nonetheless I would not consider myself a happy person. I don’t believe that living can be considered an art, no; living is just a struggle to find out who we are and what we value most, or if anything is even worth value, at that. But I want to leave something behind – and more than just a fading impression.
But in short, things are moving in a positive direction. My lost high school diploma and transcript finally arrived at Smolny, which means I will be able to study there for the full 4 years. Summer’s come to a close; the air is windy and chilly and reeks of autumn rain. I try to no longer think of girls and focus on more important matters. Besides, I have a boyfriend - a kind and loving boyfriend who is still willing to put up with my instability issues. And lastly, I must say that school is eating me alive, but looking at my academic history, one could infer that I actually enjoy that.
Everything has slipped back into its normal state – almost - but I still feel that something isn’t quite right. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve made the right decisions. I’ve cried so much this week that several blood vessels have burst under my eyes and refuse to go away. I’ve felt like a complete failure in every sense of the word, although I know that it’s not necessarily true. I just don’t feel quite like myself these days. Something is missing. Purpose.

Didn't you say you're just 18?

Don't put so much pressure on yourself when you're still so young. Life is much too short, and youth even more so, to care about your legacy more than your experience.


And I can assure you, living is the greatest work of art any of us can ever create. Don't ignore the beauty of the moment, and don't neglect yourself for the sake of "success".

haha that's what you think.
I don't want to be another aimless teenager; i want purpose in life. I want to achieve greatness.. I want to be famous and respected

Originally Posted by aimeefriedland

haha that's what you think.
I don't want to be another aimless teenager; i want purpose in life. I want to achieve greatness.. I want to be famous and respected

The folly of youth. The only person whose respect matters is yourself.

As far as being famous, well you're pretty hot. Go into porn, or become a pop starlet prancing about half-naked on stage, and lip-synching to vapid, plastic songs. Fame has very little to do with "greatness" or "respect".
Either way, I wish you luck, and if you do go into porn send me an email.



“Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, and riches take wings. Only one thing endures and that is character.” ~ Horace Greeley

yeah i've already semi-porn stuff up on my site
http://www.freewebs.com/aimeeraefry/

anyway, as you can tell from my posts pictures and sites, i am not afraid of being voyeuristic if it means i will get attention and noticed. i'm willing to put myself out to get myself in