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Thrills and Spills
There's one thing we know for sure: Life - in Berra-nese - isn't over til it's over. Until that time we buckle ourselves in the rollercoaster and hang on to our hats.
It's interesting, this undulating journey. It goes slowly in spots, fast in others, loiters expectantly some of the time, then dashes hellbent around curves the next. There are happy, fun places along the way and stomach-dropping moments when gravity and equilibrium fail. We go topsy-turvy with giddiness and joy on some of the very best days of our lives, and we go topsy-turvy with fear and utter discombobulation on the worst.
Coming out of the drops and spins is when I'm most reflective, whether they be the good kind or the bad. Those are the times when I manage to solve another huge chunk of life's puzzle, and I 'get' it. One of my favorite places in life has been in the afterglow of one of my protracted aha-phenomenon phases. I'm known for wearing blinders, but I've found that in the larger picture they serve a good purpose: They've kept me focused and protected when the larger view would have been too much for me to handle. The problem with blinders though, is that we become dependent on the narrower view, making it frightening and difficult to move into the larger reality. Growing pains are hard, but cutting apron strings, severing the last thread of a loose tooth, and finding the courage to step out of one phase of life into another have, with few exceptions, proven to be more painful in the contemplation than in the completion. I try to remember this. Often I forget and then I have to screw up my courage around me tightly, and resolutely take a leap of faith. Voila! There I am, living in the reality, traveling smack in the middle of whatever it was I feared so much.
In this Spring of renewal I am thankful for all my joyful moments and for the people who have brought me that joy. But I'm also thankful for the sad times, and for the unknown, unturned corners I've yet to face. With each new day I learn a little better how not to fear life but to celebrate it better. Every day I live enriches my life and gives it a grander texture. Each day teaches me just how vital I am. I think and I know! I sense and I feel! I love dearly and I laugh heartily. I am increasingly thankful every single unfolding day for those who were with me for the proverbial season, and for those who will stay close forever. I am supremely thankful for the Springtime and for the tender, vulnerable shoots I find rising up in my spirit yet again. I will tend to those little promises of life with the gentlest kind of love, and will protect them with every survival instinct I have honed. Then I will stand back and let the sun and the rain nourish them, and perhaps soon I will enjoy the full fragrant bloom of these new heart-flowers. I will not fear to know if they are annuals or perennials - I will simply stand in the midst of their beauty and be grateful.
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