Thread: Sobama: Are you listening?

Heya,

I kinda got into a bet to write a story in 30 days at my junior high school witha couple of people. (basically nanowrimo except unnoffical) and i was just wondering how this sounded:

Prologue

“Africa is the closest damn equivalent to hell you’ll ever find on this planet.” I remember these words years ago from a journalist during the civil war. You will never understand how true these words are.

***

The thick smell of the diesel powered engine was actual a haven from the scent of congealed blood that, until recently, had pooled on the bed of the bakkie. Most of the people around me had been injured. Some simply beaten, the others shot by government militia. The man next me was scarcely breathing while clutching his stomach. Rivers of crimson flowed from his wound and onto the bench. I tried to wipe the blood off the bench and onto the floor, but it had soaked into the wood and my shorts so I gave up in futility. Hearing the sounds of gunshots in the distance, I couldn't believe how lucky I was.

Before I tell you my story, you should know only two things: How true some points of this story are, and that you are in for a long haul.
Are you listening?

fyi, this section is for non-fiction only... and, despite any 'true points' it may contain, your piece is fiction...