Thread: Award letter

Hello everyone, I'm new to the site and just wanted to thank everyone ahead of time for there time and help. I've been nominated for an award. I was asked to write a letter as to why we feel I should be selected. Could someone possibly look over the letter I wrote. Thank you.

My name is *** and the intent of the following letter is twofold. The first is to provide a comprehensive account of my achievements while attending ****. The second is to talk about one particular experience that has affected the way I think not only in the classroom, but outside as well.
This spring I’ll be graduating with an associate’s degree in Computer Science. While pursuing this degree I worked two part-time jobs, one as a projectionist at a local movie theatre and the other as a Physics Lab Assistant/Tutor.
Being offered the responsibility and privilege of tutoring Physics at ****** was a huge milestone in my life. My senior year of High School I needed a science to graduate after failing Chemistry. I was told by my guidance counselor to retake Chemistry because Physics would be too hard. After hearing this I was determined not only take Physics but master it. I ended up passes Physics in High School earning a ninety on the New York States Regents, though it wasn’t until the end of last year when I received the Physics Student of the Year Award that I felt my goal was accomplished.

I’m worthy of the **** because of my career achievement in Physics. I’ve been tutoring students at *** for a year and a half now. I’ve also tutored a few co-workers at the movie theatres, and my Physics high school teacher has asked me in the past to tutor some of his students. I believe that because of my ascetic-like attitude toward Physics and my elated personality toward helping others studying Physics that I’m deserving of this award.



Sincerley,


****

I'm a bit confused. Someone else has nominated you for this award and the committee wants the awardee to validate why they're worthy to receive it? That's a bit unusual. Typically it's the responsiblity of the nominating person to provide the "why," and the committe's responsiblity to verify only that the information they were provided is correct.

But if you must, you must. I would take another review, because there are a couple of typos. Plus, I would write it more as a biographical sketch. Its tone is a bit high-schoolish like following a list of questions. There are grammar issues as well. Is there a restriction on length? I wouldn't go more than one or one and a half pages, but this is a bit short and lacking in personality. Not to offend, but they need to hear your personality as much as your words.

Oh, someone finally replied! The letter i received said "A typed letter (not to exceed 300 words) as to why you feel you should be selected. Include your list of activities, including organization names, length of service, as well as any awards received or office(s) held.

I'm not really sure where to go with it. How do I stay away from a list-type letter, or even incorporate a personality? Also, my grammer is pretty poor. Could you highlight the mistakes you saw?

Thanks for your response!