When did everything get so complicated? I think it might have been simpler before we understood anything, but now it’s all quantum theory, you know? Like, You start looking close enough and all the sudden the rules are changing, the quarks are popping in and out counter-intuitively. The unified theory isn’t going to happen and if you can’t get it all at once, you really aren’t getting anything, you know? So, we can explain this part and that part but never both, trapping ourselves in an infinite regress somewhere between the socratic knowing-nothing-to-know-everything and the feeble actuality of not knowing a goddamn thing.
Here I am jumping from platitude to platitude like charged particles in the cummulus, and the calculus of my understanding always approaches but never reaches the limit of wise coordinates on the plane of ideas. Yeah, the physical world is not the only one, and I’m starting to figure this out / remember it. It’s also becoming clear that, like the earth, the world of ideas is round. Shit, we already know that, we’ve all seen the mixed marriages of hedonism and nihlism, old school liberalism with neo-conservatism. It’s a philosophical pacman-effect not unlike the homophobic denial-case who occupies the pragmatically-adjacent points on the extremities of the spectrum, it’s the magnetic attraction between polar oposites and the realignment of magnetic fields making opposites no longer so. Life’s a freaking yin-yang with each of the dots split by the same sinuos line artificially dividing the whole circle and with microdots inside the dots and it goes like that all the way down to… to what?
We all live alone in our own universe. Yeah, you’ve heard that, but I mean, really, literaly. An inconceivable 360 degree unobstructed perception that witnesses everything at once, all places and all times, your own horrifying 4 dimensional object, a single nano-unit of which would fry your brain and lock you a way for the rest of your imaginary life, yet still it inhabits you, violating your ignorance. You tessel all of those together, everone’s own shape and then you’ve got your whole, you’re looking at god and he/she/it/everything/nothing is a concious being. It’s self aware and it’s a hideous/beautiful diaroma of the instant of creation/extinction. God perceives the infinite dimensions and yet exists in multiple infinites of dimensions that he cannot perceive. She’s moving across those wholes, and when it moves into the visible specrum THERE IS LIGHT LIFE EVERYTHING and when he moves to the metaphorically infrared and ultraviolet THERE IS DARK DEATH NOTHING but the motion is all graphed into yet another static shape as immutable as death
and we’re already at that point in our eternal unchanging life,
a lucid nightmare of accelerating stillness.



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