first off, nuelma, you should realize that asking for a
critique is not asking for
praise... serious writers know that they need to know what's wrong with their work, so they can fix it and learn how to improve their skills... so, rather than 'disempowering' any, being honest and telling them what's not working in their writing is in fact 'empowering' them, by giving them the info they need to have in order to improve...
most other writing sites i've seen are little more than mutual admiration societies, where everybody says meaningless stuff like, 'i loved it!' and 'oh, how wonderful!' and no one dares say what's wrong, when it
is...
that's why this is the absolute best writing site on the entire web, imo... people here tell the truth, awful though it often may be... and most of the writers who come here know that's what they'll get and know it's what they need... certainly, an occasional post will be mean-spirited and rude, but that's to be expected, with such a huge and varied membership... it's a fact of life anywhere, however, and doesn't reflect on the site or the rest of us...
as to your piece:
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Just to explain... the piece was actually channelled information from a higher entity. I'm not sure if you are or aren't familiar with these kinds of works.
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i'm quite familiar with them... in fact, i once transcribed some channeled material for a lady who was supposedly getting it from a hindu entity of some kind...
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Spirit doesn't lend itself to grammar or correct sentence structure, but I will be sure to send out that vibe next time I channel. I will also tidy up the piece to make it more reader friendly.
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that would be wise, since people will then tend to take what you [two?
] have to say more seriously...
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Just out of curiosity, even though you found it difficult to critique the work due to bad grammar etc... what did you think of the information? Was it a concept that you could understand?
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sorry, but i can't give you an answer, since i didn't read it it that thoroughly, having been put off by the things i mentioned... from just a quick scan, i can say that i didn't get what your point is... what it is that is being proposed... it probably needs to be set out at the beginning, in language all who don't believe in channeling can understand, if you want to preach to more than just the choir...
sorry i can't be more helpful... hugs, m
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