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Thread: Busted!

  1. #1
    Scrivener
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    Busted!

    .
    Last edited by gigi; 11-22-2006 at 08:21 AM.

  2. #2
    Ink Blot robbiejayfan's Avatar
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    When Jack Nicholson’s character in “The Shining” came down with a case of cabin fever, he was at least written with a degree of maturity. Re-write the story with a then-minor resort town in the Midwest, add a dozen six-figure miniature golf courses (closed for the winter) and a staggering population of bored hotel staff with no night life, and you get “Dumb and Dumber”.

    I love those lines. I'm surprised the e-zine did not take it. It's definitely hip and urban. Kind of has a restless suburban youth feel to it. I thought your perceptions were quite intriguing.

    At first I thought I was reading a piece of fiction and was totally impressed by the familiarity of the scene you were setting. The observation of details was great. Then when I found out it was a true story, I finally realised why the perceptions were so detailed.

    Do you write fiction? If your use of details and observations comes through as strong in your fiction as your article you've won half the battle of becoming a polished writer.
    Robbie Fanucchi
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    Close Your Eyes: A Vampire Homage

    Check out my home business articles blog
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  3. #3
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    Robbie,

    Thank you for such an awesome comment. I have tried my hand at fiction before, but only a couple times. Usually, I don't have the patience for it. I love the compliment, thanks!


    gigi

    here is a link to some of my fiction.

  4. #4
    Prolific Writer
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    Yes, you are a shameless hussy... *grins*

    Nice story & well told - the things that we do when drunk can rarely be surpassed by fiction.

    I'm not a fan of rum at the best of times & purple...? ewwww

    Enjoyed the read - thanks
    *Never doubt there is Truth; just doubt that you have it! - Journyman161
    *ThThe difference between stupidity and genius is there are limits to genius - Einstein
    *He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know - Abraham Lincoln

  5. #5
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    LOL, thanks! (?)

    I appreciate you coming by to tell me how you enjoyed it. I, too, am not the biggest fan of rum. I wonder if it had anything to do with this experience...?

    gigi
    Last edited by gigi; 09-07-2006 at 05:17 PM.

  6. #6
    Ink Blot mac Max Graham's Avatar
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    Busted

    OH! The trials and tribulations of entry into adult hood with the assistance of rum. The Australian brand Bunderburgh has a very potent OP rum; that stands for overproof 75%. I prefer 'O'ther 'P'eoples. A very titalating piece of prose with just the right amount of dialogue, so that one is not distracted from the carry ons of over age delinquins who should have found warmer games than trying to release invisible birds in the middle of a snow storm. OH!. To have the courage to write of the rum induced antics of my youth. Do you reckon we could swap stories, even if there is a fourty year generation gap.
    Fact, dear lady, will surpass fiction for excitement and being unbelievable.
    got any more saucy stories.
    Mac.

  7. #7
    Adept Writer
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    Damn, until the AN I thought this would be Ms. V you were talking about.

    This sounds like the perfectly small and dismal town to perform such a prank.

    And to be honest, now I wish there was a zoo around here.

    Well-written with the candor of a small-town gal (colloquialism like "dang" just perfected further). Very amusing.
    Ruthless comments encouraged!

  8. #8
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    Hey there Mac! Thanks for resurrecting this dead one! It was fun to live and to write this piece. I would be happy to swap stories - I bet you've got some doozies from what I've read! I don't know when I'll be writing this way again. Maybe soon? The pressures of journalism make me nervous!

    Ilan: Indeed it was dismal, but it was right on the bay, so one can't complain about that too much. I'm sure jen would have been very funny in this story! lol I needed a name, and hers was as good as any. I think it helped me write the dialogue if I imagined I was talking to jen.

    And I really do have those scars on my hand!

    Lans

  9. #9
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    What? You forgot the wire cutters in the trunk? I thought that was standard equipment?

    Wolf actually read this one first, and brought it to my attention. I owe him a beer--which means I have to go to an other than domestic store cause he doesn't do 'piss water'.

    The writing was good, some awkward points I'm not going to get into cause I have to hustle here--but it was a great piece. Love the sarcastic tone ('You'll love the snotty tone--let's post it on dickweed's (my kids' daddy) head" says Wolf). If I had the time, I'd nitpick, but I'm just on for the ride. It was a good one. Au revoir.
    Old enough to know better, young enough to think I can still get away with it.

  10. #10
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    Man, if I had wire cutters on all the occasions I wanted wire cutters... I'd STILL be in juvie...

    Well your brother is awfully swell to enjoy my snotty nature. Tell him thank you for reading and pseudo-commenting . He should register here, since he enjoys reading, and start commenting! I don't like piss-water either. I had a nice boddington's with my fish and chips last night. That's about as weak as I usually like. Give me a Black Butte Porter any day.

    Lans

  11. #11
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    He can't. He's banned from using the internet. He was a bad (not perverted, just overly mercenary) boy.
    Old enough to know better, young enough to think I can still get away with it.

  12. #12
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    huh. sheesh!

    as to your comment about awkwardness: i saw that myself last night. when i re-read it i realised that i have to be in a certain mood to get all the inflection right. i can't account for the mood of my reader, so i should edit for clarity in the piece.

    but i'm too lazy and bored to do that right now...

    gigi

  13. #13
    ms. vodka
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    you're too lazy and bored to do work right now.

    you already know what i think of this piece.

    and you already know what i think of your piece.

    peace.

    me.

  14. #14
    Scrivener
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    I know you wish your piece was as good as mine.

    peath out.

  15. #15
    Best Seller
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    fuck me. two crushing blows in one day! i found this because i havent read anything by you in a coon's age, and it only comes up as a ma' fuckin' dot. THEN i learn that jen has wiped her account, that insipid bint! remind me to give her a fistful of sass when i talk to her next. and love. to both of you.
    Writing cleaner than he lives.

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