Thread: Us

I'd like to share this recently published article here. I had to include a link because of the length:

US: On Black Gay Men, Masculinity and Our Fathers

by Max Gordon
Sapience Magazine
January 2006

In places where our fathers can’t see us, in the dark where we sometimes can’t even see ourselves, we’ve submitted to men. In the sex club or porno booths, men share sex, but occasionally, when the sex goes flat, or when an emotion other than lust or indifference intrudes, two men stand still in the dark and just hold each other. And for some, it takes this faraway place, in somebody’s dark labyrinthine basement with the lights down, the noisy house-music thumping and the door firmly locked, for two men to express tenderness and compassion for one other. Surely in these rooms at some time a man cried on another man’s shoulder about a recent break-up or abusive relationship, about feeling lonely, or not being able to be with his family during the holidays because he’d come out recently and found himself dis-invited, about recently being diagnosed as HIV-positive and not having anyone to talk to, fearing the possibility of one day being sick and dying alone. In the small space, he responded to the soothing reassurances of another man who said, “It’s okay. I’m here.”

http://usatsapience.blogspot.com

That is one of the most interesting pieces I have read. Yet because of cultural differences, I always find it difficult to understand the African-American way of pointedly marking things out as being a 'black' experience.

It was interesting, but culturally I always come up against that barrier. There really is no difference in the range of emotions, men in the western world have that emotional struggle with their fathers, it is called being stubborn, something men are very good at.

All I can say from personal experience is that I went through the similar internal dialogue that was expressed in this piece, however, I consider that to be human rather than 'black'.

It seems to be that being black in this piece is seen as a further boundary or hinderance to outing yourself, at least that seems to be the cultural view point.

But then, from my own experience, there is one group in society that does not discuss sexuality to any great extent, after the Musloim communities, this is the black community, esepcially African-American. It is one of the few communities in Western society in which even the women seem to be very much against male homosexuality.

Just my observations. Thank you for sharing this inspiring piece.

Alex