This is a little comical rant I had when ISTEP (Indiana Standard Testing Something Something) so its a little old. Enjoy:
The True Scoop on the ISTEP Tests
Now, Im sure we have all wondered one time or another in our life; why do we take the ISTEP Standardized Tests? I like to think that the answer is really simple: a state testing students to figure out their rank in the national average. But when I look deep into the meaning of ISTEP, I begin to see a more clear picture; well, one that might not be true but most certainly amusing.
I have 110% undeniable evidence that ISTEP is made to annoy students! 50% circumstantial; 50% physical; and 10% emotional. Of course, in this crazy way of life we Americans lead; we have to have some downtime; that is one of the main reasons ISTEP is there, so we dont have downtime.
It is obviously a scapegoat for teachers to use us as pawns; directing us to follow instructions to the word and fill in the bubbles heavy and dark; to keep track of time and erase our answers completely before making a new mark; to write neatly and clearly and to meet the objectives on the prompt. Of course; we cant forget the Math test that was designed to be completly above most of us.
Once you get stuck in a room with Bob Hays for about nine hours out of your week; you truly appreciate the fact that in reality, we don't make nonsensical jokes every two seconds and pronounce words without saying "sitiation" or "whopper-jawed" and you really know in that deep instinctual way; there is always fifteen minutes left.
Mainly, the testing doesn't end there; there is also SRT with Mr. Grubbs which, my friends, I severely hope you never have to experience. I now know there is only two minutes in a class period, and that slow annoying voices accompany really stupid people; that a wraparound goes with the slow voice, and that special education rooms across America have working stoves in the classrooms.
Thank god, we have finally reached Friday; testing is over, and joy spreads across the earth. A candlight vigil is held, which immediately turns into a raging inferno... the testing stage is not over. English teachers, no matter how far after testing it is; is always, in their minds, a chance to do some studying for ISTEP. Not to mention our viciously cumpulsive Biology teacher, Mr. Hiatt, blames us for missing classtime; and not the obvious choice of the ISTEP testing.
So I ask you, how do you see ISTEP now... now that it's unveiled; now that the shroud of deception has been lifted? I just see it as an easy blog post which to rant about. In the words of my busdriver Tim "Turn around and shut the hell up! That's from the state! And all!"