Will patriarchy take over the United States and the world?


Wonder Woman vs. George Bush
by Max Gordon

1

It is May 2005, more than half a year since the 2004 presidential election, and I think its safe to say that it is finally over. George Bush has won. November 3rd is a vague memory. Days after the election, John Kerry seemed to have disappeared off the face of the planet as if hed only existed in my imagination; John Edwards, who was supposed to put the unfair voting-practices of the United States on trial, disappeared before the campaign was even halfway through. Democratic hopes evaporated like the images on a Diabold voting screen. Al Sharpton was putting the finishing touches on his T.V. reality show, Clinton was giving speeches blaming the defeat on the partys weak stance on moral issues, and some Democrats were blaming Michael Moore for being fat and loud and scaring moderates away, even though we were happy for him to be fat and loud when he was bullying Republicans and we thought we were winning.

An analysis of Gallups final pre-election poll showed that George W. Bushs victory over John Kerry was led by strong support among men, whites, Southerners, married voters, churchgoers, Protestants, gun owners, and veterans. I was fundraising before the election, canvassing on the street to raise money and encouraging supporters to give generously for all the lawsuits we were going to file when the Republicans stole black votes again in Florida. A rabbi gave me a check for $1,000. The day after the election, Kerry conceded, no publicized lawsuits were filed and I was terrified of running into my rabbi on the street. The Wicked Witch of the Left, Ralph Nader, appeared in my nightmares in a cloud of orange smoke. With a crooked green finger, he cackled his delight - Democrats had sold out their hardcore values, justice and integrity to court moderate conservatives and, legally or not, wed lost again. We were despised by all the moderate conservatives who thought we were whores who only pretended to be moderate and conservative to get their votes, the real conservatives who seemed to recoil at anything Democratic these days, and the radical left who, sick of our compromises, tepid stances and last-minute concessions, barely recognized the party anymore. With Democrats like Joseph Lieberman, who needed Republicans anyway?

The first week after the election results were announced I refused to leave the house, and wore the same sweatpants for more than a week until they had that unmistakable ballsy smell that some men require before they will admit to either laundry day or chronic depression. I envisioned close friends coming over to my apartment, gently pulling back the bedcovers and helping me get dressed while prying Kerry/Edwards buttons from my tight fists. Dear, its all over now. Theres not going to be a recount. Go ahead and cry. Thats right, let it all out.

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