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Alright, english teacher wanted us to write a personnal experience essay...this one isn't one of those lame ones. I swear. Advice would truly be appreciated.
Love, I guess it’s something everybody wants. Okay, allow me to rephrase that. It’s something that every teenage girl wishes she had. At one point, I’m pretty sure that each girl has been in love during her teenage years. Some more than others, nevertheless, each one of us has had that experience. Along with the falling desperately in love, comes the experience of having to say no. What exactly is it that makes girls want to do things with these guys? I always ask myself that. What makes them choose to throw away their values and morals in an instant? I finally understood why one rainy Saturday.
I was with this amazingly funny, good-looking guy for almost six months. Now, that’s not a long time for adults, but for a kid, that’s almost an eternity. He and I would hold hands, hug, kiss, you know, the typical teenage stuff. Our relationship wasn’t just based on kissing though. We had our good laughs along with the moments when we just wanted to ring each other’s necks. I remember he would make me laugh so hard sometimes. You know when your milk is about to shoot out your nose, you’re laughing so insanely hard? Yeah, it was about that hard he would make me laugh. I also remember how he could infuriate me. I would just want to strangle him so much!
Back to the rainy Saturday, I hadn’t seen my baby for almost a month for whatever reason. We just kind of looked at each other. He gave me this really big hug and squeezed me tight as if I was going to be taken away. When he let go, he took me by the hand and we started talking about how we missed each other and other nonsense. We came to a quiet area where nobody was around. He leaned down and kissed me. It was just any kiss though. There was this passion and emotion behind it. I could feel how much he cared for me through this kiss. Well, at least I thought I could tell how much he cared for me.
You can just picture it: a deserted area, one teenaged boy, and another teenager of the opposite sex. That can never equal a good outcome. Seriously, it’s common knowledge. We kissed for a pretty long time. His hands would rub my back, hold my hands, feel on my thigh, hold my face, and then start all over again. I should have just pulled away, but I didn’t because I “loved” him so much. He would be constantly telling me how much he loved and cared for me in between kisses. He would start kissing me on my neck and insist that I was the only girl for him. I really do not know how I kept my composure.
He started to feel around for my belt buckle while we were kissing, so I tried the Hold-His-Hands-While-You’re-Kissing trick. It didn’t work for very long. He found my belt buckle once again. Stupidly, I let him undo my belt buckle. I asked him softly, “Baby, what are you doing?” The response I received was, “Mamí, just for a little while, just for a little while, baby.” I love it when you call me that! NO! Belt buckle! Think! NO! Sex is bad. NO SEX! My mind was going crazy. I kept guiding his hands back to my hands so maybe he would stop pressuring me. “Baby, I love you,” he kept insisting and reaching for the button on my jeans. “Baby, I can’t. No. Not here.” I tried to stop him. “Then where, baby? Where?” he asked as he kept kissing me all over. He kept asking to the point where I began to want it too. What? NO! Stop! What are you thinking? I kept telling myself. Maybe I can- No! I’m not going to do anything! Maybe for a little while? No! Stop! I don’t-
My thoughts were cut off by his cell phone ringing. Not surprisingly, I was quite relieved. He had to go home right then. He kissed me again and playfully tugged at my jeans. “I’ll see you later, baby,” he said in between kisses. He grabbed my hand again and led me back to civilization.
That was the last time I saw him. We spoke on the phone a few more times, but that was pretty much it. It was only then that I realized that I had almost given myself to this guy that I had only known for six months. I now understood how some girls were able to give themselves to their boyfriends. I came to sympathize with them. Their boyfriends would tell them all the things that they would want to hear. He tells his girlfriend how much he loves her until she just finally gives in. I think some of the desire comes from his incessant nagging. As much as I enjoyed it, he did become a bit annoying when he continuously told me that he loved me.
I am finally able to see how easily girls are influences by their boyfriends. I am able to understand and relate to the situation even more so now than ever before. I can’t say that I am completely happy with my decision, but to be honest, I’d rather not have and ponder whether or not it was the right decision than to have done it and regret it the rest of my life.
Told you it was juicy...lol
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