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college essay
What can I contribute to the college community?
I have always prided myself on wanting others to have a lot of fun all the time. Which means that you, Loyola College, can depend on me to bring a lot of boose and hookers to your college community. I am a firm believer in the acronym, BYOB, which can be interpreted in two ways, Bring Your Own Beer, or the popular - Bring Your own Bitches. However, for the best possible result I will combine the two meanings to form such a college philosophy as has never been seen before. Imagine yourself sitting in the college sauna with two luscious broads on each arm and a beer between your lips, that’s right, sip away Mr. Dean of Admissions, this one is on me. I am no mere frat boy mind you, I have spent years of my life perfecting the art of getting around the law in order to bring the masses lots of hookers and beer. I bring beauty to racketeering, I bring grace to shoplifting, and I most certainly bring style. My hooker and beer smuggling techniques have become internationally known and copied in the underground world. I will do for your college what no other freshman can do, create a veritable beer and hooker cartel right on your front doorstep.
Say you wake up in the middle of the night with a hankering for a beer. You go to your refrigerator and grasp a bottle, but then gasp in horror. You’ve just realized you don’t have a hooker handy! After all, what is a cold one with out a hooker, am I right? Well you no longer have to fear my friend, because I am the one to come to for hookers, and as I said before, this one is on me.
In conclusion, I will bring Loyola a sense of brotherhood and community through prostitution and drunkenness. After all, hookers and beer are really, very cool.
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"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."
-Gene Fowler
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That's either very funny in jest, or very cool in reality! This is getting back in touch with my "inner frat" of course.
