Thread: Noel

Taking a December stroll down the snow-covered sidewalk of our suburban-blue-collar neighborhood was uplifting. It was Christmas time, and it seemed that everyone was filled with the spirit. The houses were decked out with lights, and Christmas trees were proudly displayed in front windows.

I must admit; I was excited as any young boy could be about the prospect of opening gifts on Christmas morning, but my admiration for the season went much deeper than that. Mom and dad always had the house looking, and smelling, festive. Dad would put the lights on the house while mom baked cookies. She would also see to it that every single decoration on the tree was in the perfect spot. My job was to sneak into the kitchen, and snatch one of those fresh-baked cookies; hopefully, without getting caught.

Mom had a set of decorations that spelled out “Noel.” They were made from ceramic, and had small elves leaning on each letter. She would usually place them on a shelf, at the base of a clock, which hung on the living room wall. One Christmas Eve, I learned that I could rearrange the letters to spell “Leon.” Mom didn’t think it was funny, but I can still hear my uncle Leon laughing in the other room when he noticed it during a family Christmas party we were hosting. The laughter was followed by my mom yelling, “David – stop that right now.” She changed it back to “Noel.

We had a very large family, so our Christmas Eve parties were very lively. I had two aunts and ten uncles on my mom’s side of the family, and two aunts along with three uncles on my dad’s. My cousins and I loved every minute of it. It wasn’t often that we were all able to get together, so it was a very special time.

It was always sad to see mom when she came around picking up the plates, which were frequently adorned with half-eaten fruitcake. It meant that the party was ending. As the night wore down, my brothers and I would usually end up lying on the living room rug admiring the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree.

When it was time for bed we didn’t put up much of a fight. The sooner we were tucked in the sooner the joy of Christmas morning would arrive. I would close my eyes and start to fall asleep when I would hear mom's voice crying out from the living room, “David, I told you to knock it off.” The grin would remain on my face until I was sound asleep.

Today, mom claims she doesn’t know what happened to those noel elves. I don’t believe her; but it doesn't matter because a few years ago my wife, having heard the noel story many times, purchased a similar noel decoration. Now, every Christmas she displays it on a shelf in our home. I am happy to say that the tradition lives on. I am sure uncle Leon is laughing in heaven.

Merry Christmas,

Dave (ClosetWriter)

Family stories are great, and this is a particularly appealing one, however the first sentence I found a bit adjective heavy. try this:-

Taking a December stroll was uplifting; it was Christmas time, with snow covering the sidewalk of our suburban, blue-collar, neighbourhood, and it seemed that everyone was filled with the spirit.

It seems to me that the uplifting aspect and the fact that it was Christmas are the important things, there is no further mention of the snow or the working class nature of the neighbourhood later in the story, so I would, literally, give them second place if you want to include them. Notice I took one of the hyphens out and replaced it with a comma, looks like a list of things the neighbourhood is to me. I guess that the difference in spelling neighbourhood is the difference between British and American English.

Nice little piece.

As usual you had me right smack in the middle of the scene laughing and smiling as though I was there. It brought to my mind memories of my own Christmas experiences.

Success to me in writing a story is defined by how well I can connect to the reader. Once again you have done this well.

Merry Christmas to you.

B'shalom (In peace)
Nerot

Originally Posted by Olly Buckle

Family stories are great, and this is a particularly appealing one, however the first sentence I found a bit adjective heavy. try this:-

Taking a December stroll was uplifting; it was Christmas time, with snow covering the sidewalk of our suburban, blue-collar, neighbourhood, and it seemed that everyone was filled with the spirit.

It seems to me that the uplifting aspect and the fact that it was Christmas are the important things, there is no further mention of the snow or the working class nature of the neighbourhood later in the story, so I would, literally, give them second place if you want to include them. Notice I took one of the hyphens out and replaced it with a comma, looks like a list of things the neighbourhood is to me. I guess that the difference in spelling neighbourhood is the difference between British and American English.

Nice little piece.

That darn "U" that the Brits seem to want to slide in there does create a bit of a problem. I know that it must look as silly to you without it as it does to me with it. I had to laugh regarding a thread I started last summer. I was honored to have it published in the WF newsletter. Whomever it was that edited the newsletter just couldn't let it go when they saw my spelling of the town in Michigan named Ann Arbor. It somehow was changed to Ann Arbour. I got a chuckle out of that (was that you Baron?).

I completely agree with you about the opening paragraph. I don't have the skills that you do when it comes to the description of structure, so to me it just felt clumsy.

Thanks for the critique, and happy holidays to you, and your family.

Originally Posted by nerot

As usual you had me right smack in the middle of the scene laughing and smiling as though I was there. It brought to my mind memories of my own Christmas experiences.

Success to me in writing a story is defined by how well I can connect to the reader. Once again you have done this well.

Merry Christmas to you.

B'shalom (In peace)
Nerot

Nerot -- thats exactly what I hoped to accomplish. You are always very kind, and I appreciate hearing from you.

Happy Holidays,

Dave

Thanks for another little vignette. It was lovely to read it, and brings to mind some of my own happy Christmasses past, though tinged with sadness this year. Great you can keep a tradition going. All the best.

R.