Thread: Thoughts and Life

Let me just say I'm a very new writer and my skills need improvement. I've been writing poetry but I'd like to explore my options. I feel that putting this piece up is kind of premature but I have many things I'd like to write about and hopefully over time I'll be able to write really nice pieces. This piece is going to be me writing about how I think, basically. What I'm having problems with structure maybe but more so the fact that I'm worried about it sounding like a journal entry. Any advice is welcome. Let me know what you think about what I've written below and please be brutally honest if need be

Is it really so hard to just appreciate the finer, simple things in life? Why do things have to be a certain way for people to appreciate them? Why do people constantly regress into denial, and try time and time again, for a false happiness? Maybe it's because they're afraid but everyone's afraid of something at some point in there lives whether they know it or not. It's all about getting over irrational fears and exploring unknowns. Sometimes it is scary and by all means I'm afraid. Afraid that people are going to forget how to care, how to be, how to love but like I said it's all about getting over irrational fears regardless to how real they may seem. People will obviously always love and care to an extent. They will always "be" but as we lose touch some of us expect life to be special almost by default. Realistically life's not that special unless you learn how to make it special. Anyone can think and feel the way they want, but have you ever asked yourself why people think. Your parents from the "Baby Boomer" generation may think growing up to be a doctor of some sort is the way to go. On the other hand your parents from generation "X" may not have much advice as to what you should do when your older. As for us... What to do? Take advice? Take "certain" things into consideration? How do I know what " I " should do or be in life, because I have no idea. All I have are my thoughts and my experiences in my world that's most important.

Hi, since nobody replied, I'll put forth my thoughts about what you have written.

First, Apologizing (although you have good intentions) in the opening line is no-no (at least, that's what I read some place). Second, your opening line reminds me of cheese (bait) on a mouse trap. I get the sense that most readers would think--"Oh, no. Here we go again, more writing about what's life supposed to be like." Third (and this I believe is the cement-in-the barrel that really sinks--fast--your piece), the word "people." You really can't lump everyone together. Aren't we just like snowflakes, leaves, stars--isn't it common knowledge we are all different. Then, you immediately add, another word that will send your piece plunging even deeper, the word "false happiness" is more dead weight. I think you have tried to tackle a topic, that would even present difficulty to established writers. Unless a writer happens to be as popular as an "Oprah" or a "Dr. Phil," I believe it's foolish to write about life.

All you appear to be doing in your piece is generalizing, and most good teachers of writing will tell their students to be "specific."

Good luck.

Thanks man actually agree with everything you said. I'm actually relieved that I can get honest opinions on here. I knew it sounded totally cheesy from the start and I did think the generalizations would kill it. I'm working on refining many things as well as being more clear with my topics. Thanks again.

Your voice is powerful (I like it). Just aim it at the right target.

Good luck.

Hello Sea,
I am new at this business too so feel free to ignore my comments. I won't be offended.
If you wanted me to feel like I was able to get into your mind then you succeeded.
If you wanted me to go away and think about all that you said, then it didn't work.
Does that make sense?
My best,
Cricri