Thread: A Deep Breath

Earlier today, as I was traveling with the morning’s rush-hour-traffic, a car cut me off. The driver squeezed in ahead of me to avoid having to slow with traffic in the other lane. I raised my eyebrows in anger, and said out loud, “You got to be kidding me.” The driver then proceeded to slow down to the speed of the large eighteen-wheeler he tried to avoid when cutting me off. It was raining hard, and I was tense, so I took a deep breath; I told myself to relax.

I arrived on time for my radiation appointment, only to be told that they were running about 30-45 minutes behind. I sat down, and took a deep breath while I fumbled through a magazine.

After I finished with my appointment I called my wife. She started crying while telling me that my Labrador retriever, named Max, was very sick from a prolonged illness, and was probably going to be put-down tomorrow. I took a deep breath.

I arrived back at my daughter’s house, and walked into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Suddenly I heard the sound of two very small feet running across the floor followed by a joyful little voice from my 2 1/2-year-old granddaughter saying, “Hi Papa.” I turned around and gave her a big hug, and I took a deep breath.

This can be tightened up, ClosetWriter. Look in particular at the information you don't need to include - eg, you don't need "Earlier today"; you don't need "After I finished with my appointment"; you certainly don't need "back" in the statement: I arrived back at my daughter's, because you don't mention being there before; and so on.

With the recurring theme - I took a deep breath - you want the last to stand out, to emphasise the difference; as it reads, it is the third occurrence which stands out.

Thanks for the help.