Thread: Is it just me?

I wish I understood why I write because I am honestly unsure why I do. I go through stretches where I feel driven, and I write without caring about anything other than trying to convey a thought as eloquently as possible. Then I ask myself: Why am I wasting my time? Who cares what I think, say or do?

I have tried writing fiction, but for me it seems pointless. I understand that it serves its purpose, and I truly admire those who are able to tell a story purely from the perspective of their own imagination. I have tried it, and it is not easy. When I say it seems pointless, I mean that it is pointless for me since I can not come close to putting the passion into something that I have not lived. Thus it becomes evident in my words.

I have tried writing about my own experiences, and have even taken the liberty to embellish them in an attempt to make what has, quite honestly, been a ho-hum journey. The problem that I always seem to stumble onto is that I decide, after two or three thousand words, it’s really not that compelling. I convince myself that I would have lost the reader by now, and I allow myself to walk away.

There is also the subject matter. Whenever I have the passion to write, it is usually because someone has died. That can get a little depressing. I don’t like being depressed, but I sometimes get the feeling that I have to be in a depressed state of mind to be able to be passionate – that scares me. I think I understand why this seems to be the case. When I feel upbeat about life I am too busy living it, enjoying it, and experiencing it to spend my time writing. Therefore, if I am spending a lot of time writing – well, let’s just say that for me that probably isn’t a good sign.

Of course there is always the eight-hundred-pound gorilla in the room – writing to make money. I am somewhat embarrassed to say that I have never made one penny from anything I have written. I have mixed feeling about that. First of all I never went to school to be a writer; “computer information systems” seem to be an unconventional path into writing, but it is my path.

I guess the fact that I am writing about “writing” indicates that it has a grip on me. I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if I should fight it, or try to embrace it. I don’t know if I should talk to someone about it, or even “who” I would talk to about it. The thought of writing for a purpose, and searching for that purpose, really has me screwed up.

Is it just me?

Nope, not just you. Many of us go through slumps. Your ability to recognize your fluctuating interest in any particular writing project means you don't want to put out something inferior, & that's a good thing.

Have you ever thought about non-fiction? Millions of stories out there that most people don't know about, or no one knows about because nobody ever bothered. They're just sitting in a newspaper archive waiting to be brought to life, & research is easier than ever with the endless resources of the internet. Plus, I've found that research is half the excitement of the story process.

Sounds to me like your niche would be short stories- fiction or non. Essays & such. Magazines would swallow that stuff up, especially non-fiction. Also you never know if one of these turns into a full-length story.

Other questions to ask yourself are: Is it fulfilling? Is this at the top of my list of things I'd want to do as my life's work? Is it the only work I do where I actually feel natural doing it as opposed to any other work I do?

Writing doesn't have to be a full-length book-or-nothing endeavor. There are many possibilities out there. Good luck.

It's definitely not just you. I feel the exact same way myself.

You don't need to write all the time. Sometimes, like you yourself said, it's good to just live, enjoy, and experience life. Good ideas come to those with experience. Heck, you could write about computer information systems.

Oh, and if you have any ideas at all, you could message ME. I always like to write with other people.

CFFTB, or may I just call you C? I do think you are right when you suggest short stories, and essays. I seem to get the most enjoyment out of writing narratives about things I have experienced in my life. Things become clearer to me over time, and I am able to understand why certain experiences remain vivid while others fade. I feel like the ones that are vivid need to be written about. I have lots of those. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of something that I lived. I then begin to think about titles for the possible story. Recently, I have begun to write them down. I create Word documents that are nothing more than a title, and save them in a folder called ideas.

I really wish that I could make a living, or at least help pay the bills, with my writing, but I have no clue how to do that. I liken my dilemma to a Seinfeld episode (everything seems to eventually end up at a Seinfeld episode with me - huge fan). George was discussing with Jerry his dilemma of trying to find a job. He was throwing out suggestions of things he could do, and he said something like: “I always make good comments about baseball -- maybe I could be a baseball announcer.” Jerry, trying to be considerate, said, “Well – yes, maybe you could; you do make nice comments.” “The problem is… they tend to give those jobs to former athletes, and people who are in that field (with a sarcastic grin).” George's (oblivious to the sarcasm) response floors me. With a straight face he says, "Well - that’s really not fair." Ha ha ha I love that. In a sense – I see the humor in me trying to make a living by writing. However, for some reason, it still seems unfair.

ClosetWriter,

Hello from a fellow Michigander? Where in Northern Michigan are you from? My family has a place in Ludington and I spend most of the summer there.
But anyway, as the others have said, you're far from alone when it comes to fluctuating motivation, interest, and content. I've had times over the past few years where I would be writing multiple pieces a day, would wake up from a half-dream and write, and have ideas written on post-it notes that I couldn't wait to flesh out. But at other times, writing would hardly cross my mind, and when it did I would dread sitting down to write anything.

Non-fiction is a great way to figure out the ups and downs of your cycle because you can write about basically anything that you see around you. Working for the school newspaper last year I was forced to keep in writing shape by covering stories a couple times a week, which has helped me to get into the habit of writing frequently, even if I don't think it will ever go on my blog or be submitted for anything. Just getting the words out and putting content down is a reward in itself, and if you can take pleasure in that then you won't have to worry much.