Thread: I will not become my mother.

It's three days before I'm due to fly to the Philippines.

For two weeks I have agonized over the decision of whether or not to go and this is principally because of the earthquake in Japan and all of the other natural disasters that seem to be occurring in abundance throughout the world this year, and its because of my mother.

I try incredibly hard not to become my mother but it is an ongoing internal struggle.
Don’t get me wrong, I love her to death, she’s my mum, of course I do, she is a wonderful kind hearted person, but the things I have learned at her knee are not always entirely beneficial.

When I mentioned to her the prospect of traveling with my husband on a business trip to the Philippines she immediately informed me that she is no longer taking her regular walks by the beach where she lives because of “the possibility of a Tsunami.”
If I were fishing for any sort of an opinion from her on whether or not I should curb my slight anxiousness at overseas travel at this particular time, it was immediately drowned in a raging black wave of destructive debris.
I argued with her that recently someone in my suburb was struck by lightning while inside their house, so bad things can happen anywhere, even if you don’t even leave your own home!
Of course it fell on deaf ears.

My mother is a chronic worrier. Worse than that she is a predictor of doom.
If there is anything to fear, anything even remotely dangerous my mother will find it and tell me about it, concocting scenarios that are occasionally positively bizarre.

I once held a birthday party for one of my children and tied party balloons to the front gate, as you do.
My mother upon seeing me do this commented “Do you think that is a good idea ?What if one of the balloons comes loose and flies out onto the road and causes a car to have an accident?”

Of all the things I could possibly imagine to be dangerous concerning balloons, THAT never even entered my mind.
And yet, in HER world these things are totally plausible and *I* am irresponsible and reckless to not have thought of them.

I have a terrible fear of flying. So does my mother (of course) however I can’t directly blame her for my fear.
I don’t like flying for many reasons but mainly because I am terrified of taking off.
Just the physical sensation as that huge aircraft lifts off from the ground and the thought of it failing and crashing back to earth cause my body to react in such an immediate negative and totally uncontrollable way.

Being a reasonably intelligent person, in the past I have sought help for my affliction and joined fear of flying forums. I've read many articles, read what the pilots have to say firsthand, read the statistics for the safety of air travel but all to no avail.
Even though I know more people are kicked to death by mules each year than are those killed in plane crashes, I’m still scared. (there aren't many mules where I live.)

Once we get up in the air and my panic attack subsides (somewhat) I am relatively OK and as long as I plug those darn uncomfortable headphones in and listen to ANYTHING (the running airline commercial spiel or even just static), so I can’t hear all the ‘funny noises” that the plane makes then I remain in some kind of state of tolerable anxiety.

I was once delayed in LA due to the plane having problems with “exploding toilets”.
Never did completely understand that but it added to my long list of growing concerns regarding air travel.

I do have a tendency to stare intently at the flight attendants for long periods of time whenever I happen to feel or hear something suspicious, but as long as THEY look relaxed then I know everything is as it should be. Even the toilets.

I will not fly alone and though my husband does not even remotely understand my irrational fear” he is a good flying companion as he prefers no conversation while in flight which is good because I’m usually rendered speechless anyway.

The other day my husband sent me a blog on air travel.
A humorous account of one man’s dislike of “other passengers”.
The replies were quite amusing but among them was the mention of one woman who sitting next to the emergency exit said she found herself next to a “gothic chick” who upon takeoff said quite seriously … “I’m going to open the door and chuck you out!”

Great! Something else to worry about.

When I finally told my mother the other day that I had made my decision and I AM going to go to the Philippines her immediate response was…
“Did you hear that the radiation from Japan will be blown across and reach the Philippines….It was in the newspaper.”
Then, not missing a beat she went on to tell me about these shows she’s been watching on TV about people traveling to foreign countries and being abducted, beaten half to death and raped and of course the local police are all corrupt and “in on it”…..

I guess this is my mothers way of saying “I love you. I care deeply about your wellbeing.”

Thanks mum.



I will go.
I will survive.
I will walk the streets of Manila and not be abducted.
I will stay in a high rise hotel and there will be no earthquake.
I will watch the beautiful Manila bay sunset and there will be no Tsunami.
There will be no gothic chick threatening to ‘chuck me out the emergency exit door”
There will be no radioactive passengers nor will there be security guards scanning me with a Geiger counter at the airport.

I will not become my mother!

This gave me a good chuckle. Oh, how we all dread becoming our mother. Much as we love them. I enjoyed the humerous slant here, it is often a matter of laughter to keep from crying when we deal with our mums, isn't it?

I don't think that there is a female alive (under a certain age) who wouldn't identify with this. Well written.