Thread: Engineering Reality

Having some issues solidfying my thesis for a paper. Think you can give me some pointers? This is a super rough draft, going for the standard 5 paragraphs although I normally never follow some norms. So, give it a look-see and tell me what you think would improve this paper of mine. Beyond complex mechanics, I'd really like to just get a solid idea flowing, but I'm stuck on the third part of my thesis; I could use some quotes/ideas to support how people persevere as individuals. I've considered a lot of the use of cultures in the United States, but hey, whatever you can do to help would be appreciated. I'm sure I can do it on my own so don't assume I'm looking for a free ride here. I'm just interested in mechanics for future papers, or if I'm doing something terribly wrong.

The essay prompt is to define what it means to be an American using one's knowledge of education, religion, hardship, etc.


Engineering Reality

Among a myriad of evaluations given of today’s America, one that I highly respect comes from The Economist’s Inequality and the American Dream. The Economist states, “A college degree is no longer a passport to ever-higher pay,” (Graff, Birkenstein, and Durst 317) subsequently stating how “politicians are playing on these fears,” (Graff, Birkenstein, and Durst 317)by using such information as a light in the dark for hopelessly lost Americans to rally around. Never mind the fact that in the past century, the majority of people in the United States idolized a mere handful of president’s for following through with their promises from election to great effect. This writer imagines such a shattering of the American dream can create a void of disparity and helplessness, perhaps in some instances leading college students and a good portion of the American middle-class to focus on the light of those who are saying unifying words, redeeming their hopes from the abysmal hopelessness they are stuck in. Yet hopelessness is one trait Americans should not have. There is light enough for the average-Joe and all citizens to be hopeful of the American dream. Made long ago, America’s structure of success stands true, gates swung wide for any determined citizen who has their own ideas on success with a little courage and hard work to boot. One should not be mislead, however, since there are many steps up the ladder of success. Courage and focus rule American lives. Keeping this in mind, it seems fair to surmise that Americans are comparable to a rainbow after a storm, given free reign to express their patriotism with their varying colors. Results may vary of course, but this sole trait of Americans has birthed some of largest revolutions of history in science, music, and equality in only the last century. To be an American is to understand one has an opportunity to be whatever one wants, to excel in whatever opportunity one chooses, all the while having the choice to maintain a sense of personality despite major or minor life decisions

We aren't all leaders. Whether we create or understand our own limitations preventing us from becoming the business owner or manager, it is fair to say there is opportunity for everyone. Yet the amount to which Americans complain about their financial restraints is astounding. With unemployment high, the prevention of the majority of Americans success seems very explainable and obvious to those who make the argument; a wide variety of cause and effect circumstances including excess military expense, government earmark spending, and many unnecessary government expenditures are among a few that are (quick?) to blame. Yet, success is allowed free reign for those without excuses doing otherwise. “With three America East schools [earning] overall [Graduation Success Rates] over 90 %,”( source citation missing), it can be assumed that these students who succeed have pride in the American system. To have kept their goals clear and the torch of success lit until the end of their trudge in the education system is an astonishing thing. Success like this is not reserved for University students, or any one group of individuals, a luxury Americans enjoy. Success is reserved for those who are practical in their methods of achievement.

Chinese corporations practically have a monopoly on mass production, the “Made in China” stamp can be expected to be found in clothing stores, arts and crafts sections, electronic component stores, hardware stores; the list goes on. In a capitalist environment where high profit is the key to success, it is almost inconceivable to think that any other country than the famed United States, land of the free, has a monopoly on products distributed to free people. Thankfully, mass production of cheaper products does not determine wealth. Imagine a world without innovation. America, the world's largest producer of innovation, would be greatly diminished in status and reputation if most of the innovation of the world wasn't being produced here, and always being expounded upon. Oil companies created massive profit for the countries GDP (I had to look up what this was an abbrev. stood for, maybe using “Gross Domestic Product here would be better) and changed the way the world transports itself because of Mr. Diesel's idea of an engine run by combustion. Walking through your local community college would also prove this point, a hand upon a computer controller of Douglas Engelbert's invention, or a product of Steve Job's imagination playing in a pair of ears. (Sorry did you mean an IPod or and I Phone?) Success is not limited to large businesses or brilliant inventors alone. With a democrat of Obama's nature in the oval office, there is a huge increase of county programs promoting start-up businesses. The famous bail-out funds that have kept our core structure strong are another tribute to the Obama administration. One may wonder who cares about all of these opportunities, by now common knowledge and beat to pulp in the papers or even worse, viewed with such shock and awe as to be unattainable. The easy answer is those who care. (A little more detail needed in this sentence.)

We aren't all leaders. Whether we create or understand our own limitations preventing us from becoming the business owner or manager, it is fair to say there is opportunity for everyone. Yet the amount to which Americans complain about their financial restraints is astounding. With unemployment high, the prevention of the majority of Americans success seems very explainable and obvious to those who make the argument; a wide variety of cause and effect circumstances including excess military expense, government earmark spending, and many unnecessary government expenditures are among a few that are (quick?) to blame. Yet, success is allowed free reign for those without excuses doing otherwise. “With three America East schools [earning] overall [Graduation Success Rates] over 90 %,”( source citation missing), it can be assumed that these students who succeed have pride in the American system. To have kept their goals clear and the torch of success lit until the end of their trudge in the education system is an astonishing thing. Success like this is not reserved for University students. It is reserved for the Americans who feel like citizens of their country, rather than rogue souls who must do things their way.

Rationality is the ruler of success. Both rationality and success can be seen to have embodied Americans, to great success. Who can doubt it, with so many stories of success to be shared? My father moved to the United States from Colombia when he was sixteen, a confused and troubled boy with two older brothers to raise him and one younger to look after. Long story short, (would love to more about the particulars which led to your Dad’s success!) is a dentist today, having lived a long and successful life at the age of sixty-one. Of his three brothers’, one has become surgeon, a lawyer, while the oldest became a scientist working for a myriad of companies, including multiple major oil companies. He has been given the chance to travel, living in India for a year, even. On top of college success, entrepreneurial success is most common in America compared to most countries (facts to support your claim here would enhance your argument). I am sure you have had quite the amount of innovative ideas yourself, whether it be an improvement on products to everyday life, an entirely new product of your own, or a method to which you can advertise and distribute these products. If not, then be confident throughout your schooling until you achieve guaranteed success. There are a ton of jobs available for graduates holding master’s degrees, the perfect opportunity for Americans who do (not?) wish to embark upon the treacherous route of a Bachelor’s degree. Being innovative and rational with one’s future is the ultimate American trait of success that will fail to diminish with time.

Works Cited

Graff, Gerald, Cathy Birkenstein, and Russel Durst. They Say I Say. 1st ed. 1 vol. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2009. 317. Print.
"Three Schools Rank Among Nation's Best in Graduation Success." America East Conference. America East Conference, 27/10/2010. Web. 31 Jan 2011.

Would it be considered bad form if I were to simply respond by copying and pasting your post with the changes I would make if it were me?