Thread: Pedro My Love

Pedro My Love


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Nine months ago a tiny bundle of joy arrived with my uncle in a battered old carton. Cuddled up in a corner with his two sisters and one brother, he looked so small and defenseless. I had really wanted a female kitten, but I fell in love with him before I even determined his gender and then when my father mentioned that he looked like me, our fate was sealed.




Pedro has now grown up to be a fat cat with white paws that make him look like he is wearing mittens. His coat is dark black with white and grey stripes. It is very fluffy and soft to the touch. On his nose is a wild mixture of pink, brown and white colours like Neapolitan ice-cream. Around his neck he wears a turquoise collar with a gold bell that jingles whenever he runs. Some of Pedro’s most distinguishing features are the snow white tip on the end of his tail and what looks like eyeliner around his attractive green eyes.


I love Pedro’s sweet and funny character. Most cats get on with him very well because he has a kind heart and usually gives in when they try to steal his food. Whenever Pedro wants something he tries to grab my attention by chewing on my toes, but he is careful not to hurt me. I find it very funny how he when he wants to go out and play, he stands by the door screaming and meowing loudly and will only stop when I come rushing to open it for him. He does the same thing when he wants to come inside as well, except he climbs onto the window sill.

Pedro loves to go for long walks in the garden and chase the butterflies. He often goes to visit our neighbor’s cat. I love to walk with him too and we especially love to play in the grass on sunny days. We have a vegetable garden and he loves to explore and hide under the plants. He then creeps up and jumps on me when I’m not looking. Another thing he likes to do is to stand guard when my mom is out hanging the clothes on the line. I think he feels like he is responsible and must guard her with his life.

Lately Pedro’s weight gain has been a cause for concern. Pedro loves to eat and is a sweet tooth. He absolutely loves cakes and strawberry flavored yoghurt and won’t give up until he gets some. Whenever I’m eating pancakes, which is another of his favorite foods he tries to snatch it from my mouth. Sometimes he makes me very mad when he jumps up onto the counter and pulls down the meat that my mom got out from the freezer to thaw out. I almost feel like spanking him but he looks at me with such pitiful eyes that melt my heart and I end up laughing. My mom isn’t usually very impressed by this but he uses this same tactic on her too and she can’t help but give him some juicy meat.

I can’t bear to think of something bad happening to Pedro so I always try to keep him close by. Once when I went for a walk with Pedro, he went off exploring by himself. I didn’t realize that he was missing until I arrived back home. Later that night it was raining very hard and a gale was blowing, but Pedro still didn’t come back home. I was so worried about him that I dragged my sister out to look for him. We looked everywhere but there was no sign of him. I was getting desperate and I tried calling out frantically for him when suddenly over the wind I heard a meow. We ran over to the back of our property where we found him stuck in a barn. I was so relieved to see him that I stood hugging him for a few minutes before we ran back inside to get out of the storm.

I love Pedro so much and I cannot even think of anything bad happening to him. I know that one day we will have to part but I don’t know how I will handle it. Pedro is very special to me. A lot of people don’t understand how I can be so attached to an animal and they say he is just taking advantage of me because I spoil him, but I know deep within my heart that his love is sincere. Pedro doesn’t just view me as a source of food and drink, but sees me as the one who loves and cares about him. He thinks I’m Mommy and he is my baby.

this is nice, i hope *you show it to your mom

Originally Posted by darkonone

this is nice, i hope show it to your mom

Thanks Darkonone... Yeah i did

Refreshingly sweet, makes you go awww. I paused at the first paragraph, should it be "our fates were sealed"? Not sure how to encompass fate.

What is it for, just for fun or for school?

Awww... kitty love. I wouldn't know anyone here that loves their cat as well. My favorite part is the description of the nose. Lovely imagery.

Originally Posted by Kat

Refreshingly sweet, makes you go awww. I paused at the first paragraph, should it be "our fates were sealed"? Not sure how to encompass fate.

What is it for, just for fun or for school?

Thanks Kat

Yeah i get what you mean. I'll just change it. How about "he was ment for me" ?

Originally Posted by Stacy Ann Stratton

Awww... kitty love. I wouldn't know anyone here that loves their cat as well. My favorite part is the description of the nose. Lovely imagery.

Hehe. Thanks alot Stacy.

Aww....

It's very nice. Good imagery and not much that needs to be edited. My only suggestion is to break the below sentence in two. They seem to be distinct ideas that deserve they're own sentence.

I had really wanted a female kitten, but I fell in love with him before I even determined his gender. When my father mentioned that he looked like me, our fate was sealed.

Is this for school or something you did on your own?

Originally Posted by Cambyses

Aww....

It's very nice. Good imagery and not much that needs to be edited. My only suggestion is to break the below sentence in two. They seem to be distinct ideas that deserve they're own sentence.



Is this for school or something you did on your own?

Hey Cambyses. Thanks alot for your help.

Yeah, i think so too because its quite too long for a sentance .. The essay is for my schoolwork.

Cool. You'll get an A.

Hi,

Im new to this site and not a native English speaker, so please excuse me if I misspell something or if I come across as being offensive in any way, for this is definitely not my intention.

I'd like to give you a sincere critique while remaining respectful to your feelings. As a hobby-writer myself I know how hard it is to take critique in good stride, because having your writing criticised is almost like having that part of your soul which you undoubtedly poured into your writing criticised. It is not my intention to make you feel that way, because generally I feel like your piece was well written.

My critique is going to differ a bit from the critique you've previously encountered by my fellow posters in this thread. I'm the type of guy that focuses more on content than correct spelling, and the only gripe as such that I have with your text is the following:

You have posted this in a non-fiction section, but yet parts of your text border on what can only be considered fictional. You're probably wondering why I say this, and I'll try to explain it in a somewhat simple manner:

In your text, you ascribe human emotions and character traits to your cat (an animal), such as:

1. "Most cats get on with him very well because he has a kind heart and usually gives in when they try to steal his food.".. I don't mean to rain on your parade, but the concept of having a "kind heart" is a strictly human concept, and I do not think it can be ascribed to a simple animal like a cat. The cat is a creature of instinct and has neither a bad nor a good heart, for it lacks the cognitive intelligence to have a sense of what is either "good" or "bad", so it merely acts on instinct.

2. "Pedro loves to go for long walks in the garden and chase the butterflies"... Here the same applies as above. I am against using the term "love" about animals, because I believe the definition we hold of "love" is again a purely human thing. We cannot assume that an animal has any concept of what "love" is, or that it's even capable of feeling something remotely like it. Just look at animal reproduction from a scientific point of view; it looks more like purely instinctual behavior than something based on any romantic feelings of any kind.

3. "A lot of people don’t understand how I can be so attached to an animal and they say he is just taking advantage of me because I spoil him, but I know deep within my heart that his love is sincere. Pedro doesn’t just view me as a source of food and drink, but sees me as the one who loves and cares about him. He thinks I’m Mommy and he is my baby."..I barely feel like I have to comment on this last paragraph at all, but I'm going to anyway. This paragraph could belong nicely in a fictional story, but if we are to interpret the term "non-fiction" in it's most strict form, it doesn't belong here, because you cannot write something that seems to contradict science (at least in my eyes) if you are to give it the label of "non-fiction". If it contradicts science or is purely speculative, it belongs with fiction, because that is what it is. Science would indeed confirm that he views you as his source of food and drink, although the truth can sometimes be hard to muster. My intention is not to spoil your joy, but if you truly love him that should not be possible either. In fact, if you truly love him you would be able to live with the thought that he might not be capable of loving you back... But if your love is conditioned on his reciprocation, it is not really love at all.

Anyways, with all that said, I did like your text, both content-wise and grammatically. However, the abovementioned issues do pose some problems if you are to call it true non-fiction. Hope I've been helpful in some way.

bwahahahahaahahaha

ahahaha

I think this ^^ critique has a better chance of being published than anything else I've read here. Send it to the New Yorker!

Why thank you very much, that made me smile.

While my intention is purely to help the author at hand, I do massively appreciate praise from fellow writers such as you. Comments like those certainly keep me motivated to keep writing. And to think that I quite often consider myself an inferior writer, haha.. Well, let's just say that I hope this site can help me restore some faith in my own abilities.

Originally Posted by BIORD

I don't mean to rain on your parade, but the concept of having a "kind heart" is a strictly human concept, and I do not think it can be ascribed to a simple animal like a cat. The cat is a creature of instinct and has neither a bad nor a good heart, for it lacks the cognitive intelligence to have a sense of what is either "good" or "bad", so it merely acts on instinct.

This is debatable, and in fact against the science I've seen. There's enormous evidence that animals experience a wide emotional range, from love to anger to jealousy. A creature holding affection for it's provider is pretty expected. Humans don't have a monopoly on emotion—our brains are merely bigger.

Loved the essay. The grammar was very good and it flowed great.

Originally Posted by caelum

This is debatable, and in fact against the science I've seen. There's enormous evidence that animals experience a wide emotional range, from love to anger to jealousy. A creature holding affection for it's provider is pretty expected. Humans don't have a monopoly on emotion—our brains are merely bigger.

Loved the essay. The grammar was very good and it flowed great.

You might be right in parts of what you say, but I highly doubt an animal has the mental capacity to truly reflect on the morality of an issue: in other words that it can have an either "good" or "bad" heart, for an animal is an even bigger creature of instinct and natural programming than us. And to elaborate on what I meant with regards to emotions: I did not mean to say that animals have no emotions, I merely meant that to assume that they are automatically identical to our concepts of "love" and so on, is at best speculative and therefore at this point unscientific unless it is proven (which I doubt it ever will or can be). Non-fiction is about facts. A fact is non-debatable because the evidence for it can be clearly shown through science, however, as long as you can show me no scientific evidence that points to the conclusion that our emotions are identical, then it cannot be considered a fact. I don't mean to say that what I'm saying is a fact either, but the burden of proof is not on me, for I am not the one presenting it in an essay labeled "non-fiction".

(I hope I'm not wrong then, lol!) At any rate, I'm merely trying to help out with the subject at hand, doing the best I can with my rational human (and sometimes perhaps delusional) mind.