Thread: The writing is on the wall

It has been a couple of weeks since I have been over to see her. Mind you the weather has been atrocious with lots of snow and ice. The roads hereabouts have been treacherous with the possibility of an accident being a real risk. But DiDi has been doing fine. I get a daily summary of how she is doing at school and anyway her teacher Claire makes sure she does not go without in my absence.

She was still out of sight when I reached the gate, which meant that she was indoors although she would undoubtedly have heard the car. I walked over to the block and as I turned the corner I could now see her standing by the door expectantly. She was looking at me. Instantly I could sense her say ’And where have you been?’

In truth I had been hiding away. I had not felt that I wanted to travel over and I suspect she knew it. There is not much she misses and I do not have to spell everything out. She has a sixth sense for judging situations. I walked over towards her and as I did so I passed by Sam. I nodded to him but it was more than my life was worth to say ‘hello’ to him before I said ‘hello’ to her. I would have to come back to speak with him.

“Good morning. How are you I asked?”. ‘Fat lot you care’ was the response but she didn’t say it, she merely turned her head away as I got close. She was well miffed with me that was for sure.

I had brought with me a sweetie or two and she guessed that one would be in my pocket. There would be no peace until I had given it to her. So I took the easy way out and passed one over. She snatched at it and soon it had been eaten. I could still feel the look on her face. It was in her eyes. She was saying: ‘You don’t want me anymore, do you?

Actually it isn’t quite like that. The truth is that we are not a well matched pair. She has learned her skills by the new modern method and I learned my skills years ago when the world was a very different place. She wants to go dancing whereas I want to take things as they come. And sadly that difference in our thinking is not going to go away. She is undoubtedly better off playing in the school with Claire, who like her, is a modern young thing. As for me, well I am well past my prime.

So I have virtually made up my mind. I am going to let her go. It is not a question of ‘if‘, rather than ‘when’.

The pair of them are off to a competition at the end of the month. If they do well, and the duo have been doing very well, then the question is going to arise as to what comes next. But whatever happens she and I won’t be playing together any more and that is for sure. If she wins again then no doubt it will be suggested that she goes off to where there is a big indoor school in which to practice. And that will mean a new partner.
Perhaps it is time that we should part and go our separate ways. It is what is best for her.

I am going to have to advertise or I am going to have to pass the word around that DiDi and I are splitting up. And the only way I can get used to the idea in the meantime is to keep away from her. I feel incredibly guilty. We have been together now for almost three years. We know each other inside out and it is impossible for me to keep secrets from her. Even if I don’t tell her of my decision to part, she’ll know anyway.

It is me who is the coward and not her.
It is me that can’t face her.
It is me that has a conscience.
It was me who invited her into my life, not the other way round.
But now it is her future we are talking about and she would have more chance with a young partner who can keep up with her. She only has one life and she is in the prime of her life.

I am just a silly old man who fell for a pretty face and I should have known better.

But that stable will look very bleak without her head peering over the door.

For sure, I am going to miss her. Lots.

Dv

Oh this is so sad, Divus. Well done though, to know when it's best to let her go. Doesn't make it any easier, I know and it's obvious your heart is broken. My thoughts are with you here, and I could only wish that all partners felt this sense of responsibility when it's time to reliquish the reins to another.

Oh my goodness! I love this! How sweet and touching, the perfect if-you-love-it-let-it-go story. The funny thing is, I was sure you were talking about a woman, and then I thought you were talking about an old man and his dog, and I kept thinking, No! You can't give up your dog!
But then it wasn't a dog either! It was a simple story with a great ending and I loved it. Thanks for sharing!

Foss, I am pleased you like the article. My girlie is creating quite a stir in the local dressage world and the more she wins, the more difficult it will be to find her the right home. To ride her nowadays calls for a riding ability way above my own level of competence.

But help me please. You are only the second reader to comment out of 51 or so hits from viewers.
Have you any suggestions as to why the interest in the article from the members has been so slow?

Perhaps not everyone is as outwardly affected as Foss. For example, I read it soon after it was posted and was, to a degree, touched by it, but that doesn't necessarily make me want to rush into print.

Ox, I have been waiting for a response like Foss's but the article has attracted little attention. So I wondered why. It is very hard for me to judge my own writing.

This writing business is a bit like baking a cake and then when the cake is on the tea table no one wants to eat a slice of it.

Dv

I would take that number of hits and no comments as meaning that people enjoy your writing (They bother to come and look at it) and there is not much wrong with it (That is when most people comment). Having said that:-

You are sometimes wordy when it is not directly to the point, eg.
The roads hereabouts have been treacherous, with the possibility of an accidents being a real risk.
By losing the words in bold and adding the letter and comma in red you condense without losing meaning, this is , of course, a matter of style, some people love having words like "Hereabouts" in things when they always hear phrases like "Around here" in everyday speech, others find it pretentious, but it is worth being aware what you are doing and making a concious decision.

"her teacher, Claire makes sure she does not go without" Comma before the name.

I am not a great one for anthropomorphism, and I have never developed a relationship with a horse, so I am not really your target audience, but I found this somehow 'cleaner' and more direct than some of your pieces and a lot more accessible.

This is non-fiction, and I’ve noticed over the years I’ve been a member here that posts in this forum don’t seem to attract as many replies. It might be possible to obtain more feedback by posting this and similar stuff in Writers’ Workshop. Although that forum seems to be mostly used for fiction, there’s no reason at all why you shouldn’t post non-fiction there. If you want this one moved just PM a site moderator and ask.

Olly Thank you. I am conscious of the fact that I am wordy in speech - probably because it gives me seconds to think before I express myself in words.
In this instance, the fact that the horse is kept 18 miles away on the other side of a toll bridge costing a £5.70 to use influenced my usage of 'hereabouts'.
But I take your point.
The typos I'll never stop - I see to read out of one eye only and then through bifocal specs. The end result is I skip read even on 200% zoom.

Excuses , excuses but it is important for me to understand where I can do better.

Ox,
What I might do with the horse story is to try it on the Horse Forum, even though it is not really a horse story. As Foss said it could be the same scenario if a
person looking for a pet dog to live in the city bought a working strain sheep dog whose role in life is usually to round up sheep out in the country.

The flying story I am going to rewrite. I'll view the same scenario from a different perspective. I see the aim to be to match the tone of the story to the perceived market - trouble is assessing the nature of the market which one is approaching.