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A few of my old journal entries from when I was about 16.
Page 83
That was the most terrifying night of my life. The way those headlights burned in my eyes... I think I can still see it. Just thinking about this is making me shake. The way that cop looked at us...I don't know if he was trying to scare us, or what. I was invisioning a terrible rest of my life as he knocked his flashlight on the windows, which were so fogged up from the smoke, I almost couldn't see out of them. Brian had a tremble in his voice that made me so nervous that I wanted to cover my ears. After the whole ordeal ended, I hugged the guy next to me. I think I was more focused on getting the hell out of that park than getting out my phone and making that important call.
Page 142
The last I can remember before blacking out was nibbling on Maddy's ear. She was wobbling like a zombie as she sat there next to me, on the same chair. I don't remember the part where I kissed her, but I remember going in the other room with her, and everything after that. I don't think I got any rest that night. I was too busy holding her in my arms. I didn't want to fall asleep for a second of it.
Page 174
I was in art class when I got the text message. I had to sit there for an hour not knowing if David was dead or alive. I called him like a madman, but no answer. I didn't get the official word that it had been a head-on collision until about nine-thirty that morning. I'll never forget how nervous I was. My hands were soaking wet and trembling. My heat was beating louder and faster than ever before.
Page 32
I didn't want to go to the party in the first place. When those guys yelled at me from the balcony, it was obvious I wasn't exactly welcome. It took me forever to get out of there. I had no ride and I wasn't feeling up to getting one from any other teen. I was so angry at everyone at that moment.
Page 67
The way those guys yelled at us. The way they stopped the car and got out, the way the slammed the doors and pulled out those knives. I couldn't believe where I'd ended up. I wanted to run, but couldn't. Their eyes were both red and bloodshot, and they were slurring their words, threatening us with babble that made no sense but still sounded promising. That fear was burning me up inside. None of it had to happen.
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