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To R.L. Stine, best kids witer ever.
“The visions which will then be acquired will be of a very high order. It may be after some little while has elapsed that the Theurgist will be astonished to find that his role of a detached observer of a vision has ceased and that, in some way, the vision is taking place about his own being, and that he is plunged into a tremendous spiritual experience never to be blotted out from conscious memory throughout the number of his days on earth. Initiations, in the real sense, and not in the implication of a formal lodge room ceremony, may there be instigated, the Theurgist taking part therein as a candidate to the sacred mysteries. To these initiations, needless to state, application is not made in any written form. They simply occur. And when they do, there is no doubt or vagueness as to what is occuring.”
Israel Regardie, The Tree of Life
Sailor Moon
by The Daddy
This thing has been bugging me for the past three years and I personally think it's amazing that this could ever have lasted so long over something so stupid.
In the summer of 2000 I one day stumbled upon the old episodes of an anime dubbed shoujo called Sailor Moon; the episode was midway between the one where Rai wins a boat trip and Serena sneaks on board as a 'journalist'. Out of boredness I started to watch the cartoon almost regularly; I discovered that it was about 'the adventures of a 14 year old schoolgirl heroine against evil', usual stuff, but I'd never seen anything like it since I am of course a male and I try to avoid girly shit like that. The last episode of the old series, where Queen Beryll is defeated and the scouts lose their memory inspired me to include her in a short story I was writing about a gang of kids; in which she appears from another dimension or something (i wasnt a very good writer back then). Soon after, I just watched the episodes for fun every morning and couldn't get her out of my mind. I was a slight insomniac (it used to be horrible) and at night the heat kept getting to me and I got really irritable. I hallucinated that she was in my bed and I could never sleep, and when I did sleep, I dreamt of her. After a day or so, I decided to keep her firmly out of my mind and I went like that for about five days, and then I was okay, but still a bit uneasy. The uneasiness remained for three years. The year after, I got bad grades in a lot of subjects coz i was too shy and not concentrating on my work enough. This was not like me at all. I'm the daddy! The year after was better, but I finally truly awoke to something I had not realised. one of my friends was watching TV and I said that Sailor Moon was an okay cartoon. After a minute or so, he said politely, " Well, it's not very good so far" And I realised that he was right. It was shit!
I can't remember the exact day Sailor Moon became a girl rather than a cartoon, but it must've been sometime around a week or a year after I first saw it.
Pardon me for being a pussy, but I liked meeting Serena. So young and so perfect, yet older than me, the eldest child in the family.
By putting Sailor Moon in a story where she briefly appears on earth and then dissapears again, as if she never existed, symbolises what I felt; that she was unreachable, untouchable, and that she would never know me and would always love another. It's a feeling that is totally unique; very sweet and completely unallegorical. Perhaps I wanted this feeling, because I know I have always loved selflessly. My mother sometimes got angry at my insomnia when I was a child, but I was convinced it was my fault; I was happy for my younger brother when he was happy; and then, Serena, when I was 12 years old.
While even though she didn't know me, I was satisfied with keeping it to myself.
Would I tell her now, were she even REAL herself?
Perhaps not.
By this time, I had few friends in my own school coz i'd become so withdrawn in the previous year, and the many who know me agree that I've changed. It continues to this day.
Some days, I feel very passionate for Serena, and later on, nothing but cold draughts and emptiness. I don't understand fully; she ruined my life and yet I love her. I suppose this is what they call love; for I have never had any sexual feelings towards her, and that's saying something. They say it is a far greater thing to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but how can I have lost my love to one that does not exist!
We've been reading Romeo and Juliet in school (i think it's shit) and I think, well at least they both knew each other. I just feel really stupid and bitter about this, i mean i hear so much these days about girls being a waste of time or taking a chance, but at least these people are in the material world, right?
Has anyone ever heard of anyone falling in love with a cartoon character? Has the daddy gone mad? Well, I nearly did, but don't worry, she means little to me any more.
She doesn't love me anyway.
All of this has however left a weak smile after the tears, so to speak. I lived with this for three long years until breaking point, and I realised that she was my gift as well as my curse.
I can honestly say there is only one thing I have ever learnt in my life that I've enjoyed.
There's no girl like an anime girl.
Prologue
WARNING: Do not attempt the following unless you have exhausted all other options.
Writer’s block. It begins with the question every writer dreads. What do I write when I can’t write?
The answer: An autobiography. The subject you know better than anyone else. It may not be pretty, but damnit, it’s writing! Let’s get one thing straight, first thing: This isn’t just some diary or blog, I wrote this because I was having trouble writing anything else. As a writer, this bio was my main focus for most of five and a half years. As such, you’ll find it’s somehwat above average for a non-fiction piece or general diary. This is essentially a failsafe, a fallback for writing. It’s big, excessive and less refined than a work of fiction. It’s not necessarily my best work, but it does the job. If there’s one thing this bio has, it’s conviction. I never muddle my words.
Having written and lost my first major novel by the age of thirteen, I was anxious to start again in the same vein of fantasy I was developing, based on videogame and cartoon worlds. However, due to shifting religions and the subsequent loss of TV, as well as of course the heavy loss of my previous novel, I found myself losing inspiration in my daily life, a key facet of fiction of which loss of can and did lead to fatal results: Writer’s Meltdown.
Before I continue, here’s my list of general rules for good writing:
Nykimbur’s 5 Rules of Good Writing
(1) The majority of your work must be fiction- Fiction is true writing, writing expressed in its fullest form. If you’re writing mostly non-fiction or poetry, you’re not a real writer, with exceptions for the occasional in-depth study.
(2) You must write characters of both sexes- Writing a character of your own sex is simple enough, writing a character of the opposite sex displays true talent.
(3) Remember the three fundamentals of writing: Reflection – Inspiration – Imagination- All three are required for fiction, only one is required for non-fiction, hence my term for it: Lopsided Writing.
(4) A good writer is always writing. Lack of writing indicates unbalanced fundamentals- Conversely, constant writing can be unbalanced but good. See the exception to (1).
(5) A fertile life is the key to a fertile imagination- Don’t isolate yourself.
This book is the exception to the rules. It comprises the majority of my work over the last five and a half years, yet it’s non-fiction, the protagonist is me, I’m mainly using only one of the three fundamentals: Reflection, I’m writing constantly, yet unbalancedly, and I’ve become increasingly isolated over the last five and a half years. So how, considering these factors, have I produced a good piece of work? The answer again is that this is an autobiography, the one area of writing which I’ve found has the tendency to turn conventional rules on their head. As an aside, here’s my three sub-rules of good fiction writing:
(1) You have to fall in love with your novel.
(2) You have to become each and every character.
(3) You have to enjoy writing it. Never force it.
By my tenth school year, the best I could manage was a short creative writing piece for GCSE coursework called The Teddy Bear Robber, which was deemed genius but too long, and had to be severely edited for the piece I handed in the next year. It was around this time near the end of year 10 that I began this autobiographical diary. I was inventing imaginary lovers and experiencing mind-bending visions (which had gotten markedly stronger at least a year prior to starting the bio). My fiction was becoming reality.[A1] Going into my eleventh year, with GCSE’s looming and a romantic infatuation with a cartoon character, I found my fiction increasingly slowing down under the weight of my own burdens. But where my fiction was declining, my non-fiction was heavily gathering pace. And so began my five and a half year foray into self-reflection…
Oh, to be 15 again. OK, this autobiography; part diary; basically consists of my extremist political, spiritual, psychological and philosophical views, a lot of venting and what I make of my multilayered life, as I mention later on. As I also mention, I suppose the best way to describe me would be an extremely schizotypal person who likes to write. In a word, schizotypal would be me, in the most professional sense. I’m quite random a lot of the time, bear with it, I’m trying my best to structure my thoughts.
I’m looking into Raja Yoga, the religion my family’s changed to about two years ago (which I strongly advise you to research for the sake of this book); I’m still not quite sure if I follow it, but for the time being, I’ll live and talk by their beliefs, one of the things I’m finding difficult to come to terms with though is the celibacy. Baba’s what we call God in my religion. I do believe in past lives and karma independently because I think and feel too complexly to be a child. I am apparently nearing the end of my cycle of rebirths in this world and I would like to leave a tribute to the dying world. If you wish to fully understand everything I’m talking about, please research further into certain videogames, movies, cartoons, beliefs etc. I refer to the past in school years a lot, especially year 8, which in normal years is the latter half of 2000 and former half of 2001, so when you see ‘year 8’ just think ‘2000 to 2001’. Alright, let’s see how long I can take this.
At the time of writing, it’s four days to my sixteenth birthday, but I have compiled over 31,000 words of my autobiography already. My life has been very strange, but almost normal, relatively. I like to write. My interests also include Anime and videogames. In my beliefs, I am almost 5000 years old and this is my, and most likely your, last life before time repeats itself again. To get some things straight, the world is 5000 years old, and it used to be a very wonderful place. I’ve had some good times in this life, which I’m glad of, seeing the state the world’s in now. Oh yeah, I hate Graphics technology for GCSE. Me and some guys only chose it in year 9 because we thought it was something to do with computers. Well, the beginning part of this bio is just a bunch of notes I wrote down about a year ago when I started this. I’d prefer to leave them as they are, so a short parenthesis before each one if it’s required; I’ll give some background, but bear with a lot of it. The Golden Age is the time of heaven on earth, what I believe I see in my visions, which is the only reason I follow Raja Yoga. Research Raja Yoga and the Brahma Kumaris too to get more insight. The stars and dashes later on, before I start writing dates, represent different days. You might see the occasional star next to a word; it’s a below note. The EDITS you see riddled throughout are as Word Comments, some of them dated, some of them not. I got a crush on a cartoon character a few years ago, it came back to haunt me, that’s all you need to know for now.
Also, I was a little mentally unstable at the beginning, but I address these issues later on. You’ll find my imaginary lover quite amusing. Anyway, read on.
CONTINUED...
[A1]You may be thinking something sceptical like “Teen diary. What makes it better than any Livejournal blog?” My answer is that this is a blog primarily addressing writers, gamers and spiritualists, which the average reader should find something in to sustain their interest. I am essentially a videogame-generation writer.
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Originally Posted by Nykimbur
