I wrote this when I was 15 and originally posted it on My Hidden Talent.
Sailor Moon
by The Daddy
This thing has been bugging me for the past three years and I personally think it's amazing that this could ever have lasted so long over something so stupid.
In the summer of 2000 I one day stumbled upon the old episodes of an anime dubbed shoujo called Sailor Moon; the episode was midway between the one where Rai wins a boat trip and Serena sneaks on board as a 'journalist'. Out of boredness I started to watch the cartoon almost regularly; I discovered that it was about 'the adventures of a 14 year old schoolgirl heroine against evil', usual stuff, but I'd never seen anything like it since I am of course a male and I try to avoid girly shit like that. The last episode of the old series, where Queen Beryll is defeated and the scouts lose their memory inspired me to include her in a short story I was writing about a gang of kids; in which she appears from another dimension or something (i wasnt a very good writer back then). Soon after, I just watched the episodes for fun every morning and couldn't get her out of my mind. I was a slight insomniac (it used to be horrible) and at night the heat kept getting to me and I got really irritable. I hallucinated that she was in my bed and I could never sleep, and when I did sleep, I dreamt of her. After a day or so, I decided to keep her firmly out of my mind and I went like that for about five days, and then I was okay, but still a bit uneasy. The uneasiness remained for three years. The year after, I got bad grades in a lot of subjects coz i was too shy and not concentrating on my work enough. This was not like me at all. I'm the daddy! The year after was better, but I finally truly awoke to something I had not realised. one of my friends was watching TV and I said that Sailor Moon was an okay cartoon. After a minute or so, he said politely, " Well, it's not very good so far" And I realised that he was right. It was shit!
I can't remember the exact day Sailor Moon became a girl rather than a cartoon, but it must've been sometime around a week or a year after I first saw it.
Pardon me for being a pussy, but I liked meeting Serena. So young and so perfect, yet older than me, the eldest child in the family.
By putting Sailor Moon in a story where she briefly appears on earth and then dissapears again, as if she never existed, symbolises what I felt; that she was unreachable, untouchable, and that she would never know me and would always love another. It's a feeling that is totally unique; very sweet and completely unallegorical. Perhaps I wanted this feeling, because I know I have always loved selflessly. My mother sometimes got angry at my insomnia when I was a child, but I was convinced it was my fault; I was happy for my younger brother when he was happy; and then, Serena, when I was 12 years old.
While even though she didn't know me, I was satisfied with keeping it to myself.
Would I tell her now, were she even REAL herself?
Perhaps not.
By this time, I had few friends in my own school coz i'd become so withdrawn in the previous year, and the many who know me agree that I've changed. It continues to this day.
Some days, I feel very passionate for Serena, and later on, nothing but cold draughts and emptiness. I don't understand fully; she ruined my life and yet I love her. I suppose this is what they call love; for I have never had any sexual feelings towards her, and that's saying something. They say it is a far greater thing to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but how can I have lost my love to one that does not exist!
We've been reading Romeo and Juliet in school (i think it's shit) and I think, well at least they both knew each other. I just feel really stupid and bitter about this, i mean i hear so much these days about girls being a waste of time or taking a chance, but at least these people are in the material world, right?
Has anyone ever heard of anyone falling in love with a cartoon character? Has the daddy gone mad? Well, I nearly did, but don't worry, she means little to me any more.
She doesn't love me anyway.
All of this has however left a weak smile after the tears, so to speak. I lived with this for three long years until breaking point, and I realised that she was my gift as well as my curse.
I can honestly say there is only one thing I have ever learnt in my life that I've enjoyed.
There's no girl like an anime girl.
END SAILOR MOON PIECE
As an afterthought, my writing around the time I started watching Sailor Moon was preteen romances, so girls were heavily on my mind, which is why I was so impressionable when I found Sailor Moon. It's interesting to see now how a kids cartoon has affected me so much. This piece is at the beginning of my bio. So, what do you think of it?




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