Thread: Jackouakian Frackouakian

Jack had a method: he called it writing without thinking, or automatic writing, or perhaps such wonderful words as "spontaneous writing"......I think that's a load of bull-chips, as that's really how I always scribble....

Anyhow, a little thing for the va-room, since I've just come thousands of miles, and anyhow, and anyway, for your pleasure....and I mean YOU.
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Just 30 hours ago I was admiring how the coast of Lima sets right down on a rocky beach, and the Sun was smiling on all of us, some dancing, some slinking around in bikinis, others just drinking alongside their car-stereos at the edge of the parking lot.

I knew it was my last day in South America, and it was giving me hard feelings. Every little thing I saw made me want to stay; the families yelling at the little ones to hurry up, the gorgeous fruit and water popsicles, the simply easy way everyone hung around the beach, half-naked, listening to cumbias and swishing and swaying along with the beat, swigging beer...

I really had no idea. I mean, I knew I'd be going back to snowy New England....but I had no idea.

Back at the hostel I met a super-inviting girl from England...she was drinking beer nonstop so I knew she was trouble. After we talked a while and we could see that we got on allright, she asked me,

"So, do you do anything else?"

"Sure", I said, "I'm a musician."

"So you smoke?" And she made the dramatic signs of smoking you-know-what.

"Yeah," I said, "Of course."

"Do you ever use coca?" she said quickly, " I mean cocaine?"

"Sure," I said.

"Allright," she said, suddenly in a hurry, "I'm going to go down and use some, and then I'll give the rest to you."

"Well..."I said, choosing my words awfully carefully, "That is very generous of you, my dear."

She disappeared quickly, and reappeared quickly, pressing a small packet into my hand.

"Use it all," she said, "There isn't much."

In the bathroom I found enough to last me the whole night, but I sniffed it up all the way just to be on the same level. When I came back she invited me for drinks.

Ahhhh, the drinks. You see, I'm not one much, really, for other things. Drink is my poison. When she said " drinks" i just went with her. We went first to a loud club (this was in Lima, Peru), and I couldn't take it so we went to a quieter place.

As the drinks flowed I started to lose the taste for alcohol. Cripes, they put all kinds of fruit juices and what-not in there...it really was hard to taste the vodka. Anyhow, I fought with the bartenders (discussed, really) about how weak the drinks were, and then I think they played a joke on me. Practically pure liquor.

Ah, so I drank it and before you knew it I wanted to jump in the ocean. No one could stop me, and down to the ocean I went.....gentle tides, thankfully enough....and back to the hostel

All that was good and fine, but I woke up just about in time to catch my flight. To where? To Boston, Massachusetts.

FREEZING. ICY. SNOWY, EVEN. Each time I step outside, I step back inside, complaining about how the night before I was on the Peruvian beach. I did not mention madrugada skinny-dipping, but who cares about that?

The worst part was I had to BRIBE the Peruvian officials to get home. Good Gads, don't let me even tell you about that! I seriously thought that death for this crooked official would be worth time in jail. O, the things I would have done to his face!

In the end, I paid him all of my American dollars....and I got on the plane....that most important of endeavours....and all for wot? Good God, Deep Freeze, and you know what? They predict a snow-storm tomorrow.....by all the heatherns on Mount Olympus, can't I catch a break?
Ah, well, my Friends, just remember......when you Travel, travel carefully, and impeccably.....and always Keep Your Hearts Up.

Well, Yours Truly,

Your Traveler Back Home,

Ozzy

Nice, very confusing, but in a good way.

I noticed several punctuation errors but that's easy to fix.

Not sure I would end it like signing a letter. It kind of seems better as a standalone vignette.

I try to avoid ellipses. They make the writing look sloppy and they have less and less effect the more you use them.