Thread: Overseas royalty, relatives have trouble giving away money to Americans

Overseas royalty, relatives have trouble giving away money to Americans

Anyone with an e-mail address has likely received a message from African or European royal family members. They all have one thing in common: They want out of their respective countries and are willing to pay you millions of dollars to keep their money safe during their travels to America. Unfortunately, due to skepticism of the general public – and the assumption that the e-mails in question are merely scams to obtain your bank account number – many of these men and women never get the chance to flee and live the American dream.

It's estimated that more than $15 billion of foreign money goes unclaimed each year as royalty overseas offer payment for the services of everyday Internet users with no success.

Kathy Poche, a 43-year-old homemaker, admitted to ignoring over 90 million potential dollars sitting idly in her Hotmail account over the last six months. Millionaires from all over the world have begged Poche, an average housewife from Denham Springs, to help them start a life in the U.S., promising as much as half of their savings in return for her services.

"Honestly, I just think our nation has too many immigrants already," Poche said.

Another realm of unclaimed cash stems from U.S. citizens' distant relatives overseas.

"I must say I was surprised when I received an e-mail that said I was in some Nigerian guy's will," said Frank Dieterich, 19. "I assumed it was a hoax and ignored it."

After some investigation, we were able to get in contact via e-mail with Mr. Johnson George, the lawyer who told Dieterich of the $17 million left to him in his sixth cousin's will.

"I assur YOU good sir that ths is not hoax. By grace of God death relative, and consequently I HAVE DECIDED TO WRITE to him the letter," said George.

When asked how he was able to find Dieterich specifically, George responded, "I wish to explain where I have taken e-mail address. My girlfriend has got acquainted with the man by means of one site. But THAT THE MAN WHICH has given your e-mail address asked that I never spoke his name and where hi lives. Therefore I shall not tell to you a name of that of the man."

It is clear from George's e-mail that the offer was legitimate, inferring that the millions of similar e-mails that make their way into the inboxes of America are also truly an offer of large sums of money.

"It's definitely opened my eyes," said Dieterich. "I have a lot of e-mails to catch up on!"

This reporter thinks the whole country has a lot of e-mails to catch up on.

In conclusion, for reading this article I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of USD$1,500,000.00. I have authorized Joe Mayer who is based in my country (South Africa) to issue you the funds of which I directed him to deposit in account on your behalf.

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It's a satirical news article. Sorry, should've labeled it.