
I'm not one for begging but will someone please comment or critique or something my work? The favor will be returned. I swear on that.

Critique or tell me what you thought here!
Chapter 1
http://www.writingforums.com/showthread.php?t=74121
Chapter 2
http://www.writingforums.com/showthread.php?t=75742
You don't really need to read chapter 1 to understand chapter 2

The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying- Samuel Goldwyn