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  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    05-19-2013, 07:50 AM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Schande in Poetry
    Turning the tables here, I suppose. A very poignant question here, but I'm not feeling any rhythm in the syntax. I would suggest you try and keep the...
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    3 replies | 107 view(s)
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    05-16-2013, 07:22 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Blue Rose (Nice Dream) in Poetry
    The positive feedback is much appreciated. Thank you, everyone.
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    8 replies | 142 view(s)
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    05-13-2013, 05:18 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread You shall overcome? in Poetry
    Oh! Well that is completely different than what I was thinking, haha. Makes sense now - thanks.
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    7 replies | 142 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    05-12-2013, 07:14 AM
    Squalid Glass started a thread Blue Rose (Nice Dream) in Poetry
    There are too many literary and real world influences to properly give credit to for the inspiration of this poem, but The Glass Menagerie deserves...
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    8 replies | 142 view(s)
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    05-12-2013, 06:07 AM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread I'll Just Be Over Here... in Poetry
    Stanzas 2 and 4 are just something else. I echo everybody else's sentiments. My suggestion would be to lose the quotation marks. I think the sarcasm...
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    14 replies | 244 view(s)
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    05-12-2013, 06:05 AM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread You shall overcome? in Poetry
    I'm wondering why it's "bean"? Sorry, not my generation at all! I was thinking "beat-counterculture" would be the correct classification. ...
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    7 replies | 142 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    05-12-2013, 06:02 AM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread .o7 in Poetry
    Haha, I agree with that comment, TBK, for the most part. Although there are times when getting a bit long winded can be quite wicked. With this...
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    3 replies | 85 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    05-12-2013, 05:50 AM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Taste in Poetry
    TBK is spot on. The poem needs more precision. Once that is accomplished, this will be very strong.
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    12 replies | 192 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    05-01-2013, 10:41 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Choice in Poetry
    Very intriguing (: I suppose the measure of a good poem is one that elicits active, powerful responses from the readership. Whether negative or...
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    9 replies | 210 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    05-01-2013, 05:06 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Untitled in Poetry
    There are some fantastic little word puzzles in here and twisted images. My suggestion would be to cut each section by about half. I think the poem...
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    4 replies | 106 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    05-01-2013, 04:57 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread My dizzy little dervish in Poetry
    Wow. This is great. I think this is the balance you're looking for between diction and evocation. Brilliant. Just put a comma after "want" in...
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    3 replies | 96 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    04-28-2013, 12:52 AM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Aldeburgh Beach in Poetry
    Olly, I still think there's confusion in that edit. What about this? The slimmer of the two raises a hand to shade his eyes and points out to...
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    11 replies | 105 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    04-27-2013, 08:05 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Aldeburgh Beach in Poetry
    Olly noted the dangling modifier, but I found some other grammatical issues that I've noted in the edit. Other than those, I think this is solid....
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    11 replies | 105 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    04-27-2013, 07:37 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Memorial in Poetry
    With the line break, I'm not sure. I think without punctuation, you add another double meaning there, so the line break can really impact that. ...
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    11 replies | 156 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    04-26-2013, 06:40 AM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Memorial in Poetry
    I got a sense of twisted idealizing of the past. But I also got images of perversion among holiness, so what the heck do I know? This is a very...
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    11 replies | 156 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    04-26-2013, 04:40 AM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread May in Poetry
    Perhaps I should start a punctuation lesson thread (: Anyway, back to the original poem. I reiterate my love of the imagery. Bravo!
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    12 replies | 211 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    04-25-2013, 11:25 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread May in Poetry
    baj - I still make tons of mistakes too - it's nothing to worry about. Teachers are just as fallible as everyone else. blade - I agree with you...
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    12 replies | 211 view(s)
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    04-25-2013, 07:58 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread May in Poetry
    The edit - here's what I think you should do. May As her shaggy yellow elms (wet, bedraggled) will, with the slowest, most nearly...
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    12 replies | 211 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    04-25-2013, 06:24 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread May in Poetry
    I think the imagery of this poem is very strong, but the punctuation mistakes and line breaks are making it too choppy for me. I had to read it...
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    12 replies | 211 view(s)
  • Squalid Glass's Avatar
    04-25-2013, 06:21 PM
    Squalid Glass replied to a thread Choice in Poetry
    Hmm, I'll have to ponder on that. The trick is fitting another word to the rhythm. Thanks for the suggestion.
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    9 replies | 210 view(s)
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    Appreciated!
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    I prefer not to be on anyone's friend's list, even those that I actually know. If I have posts up, you can find them by looking throughout the entire forum. I may be a bird, but I'm not a tin duck at a shooting gallery.
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    I received a friend's request from you. I'm sure it was a mistake. I have never corresponded with you but I have read your stuff...
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    hello there.
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