Farther and Farther Away ;Progressive/ Hard Rock - Writers Forum

Damian_Rucci · 06-11-2008, 02:20 PM

You promised me everything would have changed
But now I’m open, everything is the same
And your constantly pulling away
You strike the match, that lights the flame
And I’m dragged off into your game
I have no patience to play

While I’m asleep, you’ll be pulling away
Still you’ll be in a lot of my dreams
O’ sweet glorious harmony
While your asleep
You’ll be dancing with me
And we’ll never stop singing

While your asleep
I’ll nail my heart to the grave
Cause that’s where it’ll remain
Dark and gloomy, my funeral is so empty
(Better send the invitations early)

When every thing’s right
And you’re right by my side
But still I’m pushing you away
Your meanings, you try to hide
Love to send me for a ride
I can’t take you one more day

While I’m awake, I will push you away
Cause I know, your the only one to save me
Hiding the double sided blade(real deceiver)
While your asleep, your punishing me
Cause I know they’re dreams

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Such lies, such lies, such lies
Repelling you away
Lighting the crowd
Like hell ripping heaven…..away
You pushed the nail to my hand
When you, when you told me the truth
So now why do I push you all

Farther and Farther away?

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I have worked very hard on these lyrics and put my heart into it, so please comment and tell me what you think.

Damian_Rucci · 06-11-2008, 02:46 PM

bump to the top

Mystery · 06-11-2008, 05:10 PM

Looks solid, would need to hear the music though, what have you got in mind?

Damian_Rucci · 06-11-2008, 06:16 PM

It is sort of like a Coheed and Cambria like feel. With heavy metal during the initial verses, and the breaks are low, soft, chords. I tried to play what I hear in my head on my guitar but I suck so it was an epic fail. Thanks for reading and commenting.

moderan · 06-11-2008, 11:09 PM

Hi Damian...

It's hard to hear what phrasing you have in mind without the melody. If you're stuck because of playing limitations I'd suggest something like Band in a Box which allows you to type the chords in and make your own arrangements, or sequencing software that allows you to use premade loops.
That said...this is no worse than any other lyric. There's nothing that really distinguishes it though. While the subject matter may be something near and dear to your heart, it's a cliche. That doesn't make it a bad thing-there have been many exemplary lyrics done on this theme. There isn't much to recommend this to me as verse without some sort of emotional connection beyond simple empathy.
A couple of examples, from one extreme to another-the pithy and sentimental a la Harrison's I Need You, or the clever and glib a la Gabriel's Modern Love. Somewhere in the middle would be McCartney's Oh! Darling and the Guess Who's These Eyes. A really extreme example would be Nilsson's You Broke My Heart So F*ck You.
Just as you need a narrative hook in prose or an instrumental hook musically, something to hang your hat on is necessary lyrically as well.
Good post though...keep working at it and who knows?

Damian_Rucci · 06-12-2008, 04:46 AM

Hmm, I'll check out that band in the box thing, thanks for the comment by the way

moderan · 06-12-2008, 07:05 AM

You're welcome. Band in a Box is highly recommended. I use it to get the bones of my tunes down when it's too late at night to do any recording.

Damian_Rucci · 06-16-2008, 06:59 PM

BUMP!