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Lyrics Original Song Lyrics.

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Old 06-03-2008, 02:48 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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tourmaline is on a distinguished road
Darlin

First off, no my lyrics do not rhyme. But when sung you'll find it doesn't need it.

Any and all con-crit is welcomed and much appreciated. Thanks in advance for all comments.



Darlin



So
You put on your apron
And so
The pocket is filled
And so you
Pick me up with your gloved hand
Like I am unwanted

And
You place me in your cloth
Place me in your stains
And so
I guess I belong there
And so I
I, stay

So
When I ask you why
You only smile and say
Darlin’ why are you trying this again?
And so
My answer is this
It’s the only drop of fear I have left
For you to prick

God that laugh
Growing flowers from your mouth
I can’t resist looking away
There’s no beauty in
Your stains

So
You tell me
Keep your voice down
And so
I crawl in as my shins wear on the lies
And so you
Tell me to clean up with my bare hand
Like I am voiceless

And
You place the truth in your fire
Place it in your wood
And so
The water makes smoke
And so they
They, remain

So
When I ask you why
Am I so delusional you smile and say
Darlin’ why the hell do you stay this way?
And so
My answer is this
It’s the only thing I have left
For me to live

God that laugh
Growing flowers from your mouth
I can’t resist looking away
There’s no beauty in
Your stains

Darlin’ damn you for being such a disappointment
And damn you for being mine
You’re just another stain rubbed into my closet
Darlin’
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Old 06-16-2008, 04:39 PM   #2
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tourmaline is on a distinguished road
no comments/?
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Old 06-16-2008, 06:58 PM   #3
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Sometimes it takes days to get comment on a piece, and the fastest way to get them is by commenting on other people's songs, so it is a trade you comment on theres they comment on yours.

Hmm, it looks like it could work, the imagery is there though seems a bit forced and doesn't flow right at times. However, it looks pretty good
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