Mystery

I've posted this before and it received a standing ovation, so I'm putting it against the test of the passing of time to see how it floats now. And no, it is not pro relgion.
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v1
There is a kingdom
Unnatural wonder
Things you could only, touch in your dreams
It lies in a lost place
Forgotten by no one
Fosaken...by all
It is waiting....for all.....to arrive
But no one ever makes it alive...

Chorus-
A river of souls sourounds the land
Lost they are crying to understand

v2
There is a castle
Wonder of worlds
Built out of gold bricks and the tears of men
It sits in the middle
No one knows what lies in it
Untold treasure or the ruler of this land?
No one has ever seen
Not once in this world, its elusive king

Chorus-
A kingdom.....without a king....
A land forsaken......from within

End-
Never stop dreaming
Never lose faith, dont stop believing
Ill see you in this dreamy land, so suddenly
Till then, adieu mon ami
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Brief farewell is widely received as quite good, but I think it needs work, so give me a reason to confirm my beliefs and work on it some more.
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- -Brief Farewell - -

Verses 1 -
Hollow days drip dropping by
Constellations paint the sky
Holding hands and skipping songs
The radio plays the swallows tongue

Bridge -
And we all laughed lies and sorrowed games
We told of times in old carnal days
Never thinking of tomorrow
Live life one beer at a time

Verse 2 -
Wine and whiskey, flavor blue
Friends we knew well and parted due
In the presence of enemies must one protect
We never knew foul so we simply let

Chorus -
Time...
Passed us by
Hollow days became hollow tries of life,
Simply moving, not alive
No soul to send to heaven, hell
Just a brief farewell to those we love
And off we go lads, to nevermore

Verse 3 -
A queen sized bed for the royal party
A king sized sofa but we didn't play the part we,
Seizing hands, hostage lips
No breaking up, what false song sung bliss is this?

Bridge -
And we all laughed lies and sorrowed games
We told of times in old carnal days
Never thinking of tomorrow
Live life one fuck at a time

Verse 4 -
A picture, pray tell, is worth a thousand words
We took many and yet speeches absented
There is no worth to what is seen not heard, taste or cured
Description nominal fee see what is beyond and reach

Chorus -
Space...
How it compresses around us
Closing in, invisible walls we cannot see
The terror known only of dumb-deaf-blind dread
Reaching out and surpassing, crushing the mind alone
A simple brief farewell lays the body on hold

Outro -
We played the fiddle, we strung the violin
We stung the keys with a five fold hornet duet and yet
I'm playing with words forever the simple answer is...
A brief farewell,
Leave the politics of language to liars and hypocrites
A brief farewell,
Then I too depart as befits
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Thats all for tonight, I might post another 2-3 tomorrow, but for now I'm done with what I need critiqued.

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Let's drown all our sorrows and we'll be gone till tomorrow...

Dies Irae, Dies Ilia, Solvet Saeclum In Favilla...

Yes, must still shut up.