Twisted Thorn - Writers Forum

Mystery · 05-22-2008, 08:01 PM

This ended up coming out quite good despite the initial oozing clicheity of it all, I'm ready to work against it if it becomes a problem in reviews, but for now its stable as no.3 on the tracklist.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here I stand,
The gun I held is now in your hand,
It's not a tragedy anymore

I'm sure I'm still on my path
When did I lose grip of my reality
Is this what you’ve chosen for me?

But I trust where my fate leads me
Leads me from this leash

Surrender, Chance, Die
Surrender, death, dream

Escape; take your chances away from me
Pull the trigger and we'll be distanced
By only one eternity
Are you prepared to face me?
In an hour, in a day, but in a dream
Tomorrow may last to ever but so may today

Entangled in love, roses given keep their thorns,
Are you willing to bleed and hurt not for me?
Are you willing to sit and wait but not for me?
Will I regret or will I torture, today’s abyss
Tomorrow's fortune

Here I stand,
Awaiting final judgment by your hand,
I'll smell the regret when it's too late

At least forgive as I have too
I chose not to destroy, as you would do
God is on my side, conviction lies with you

But I trust where my fate leads me
Let it lead my by this leash

Surrender, Power, Absence
Surrender, Fight, Die

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Btw, "The Witch" is track 10, forgot that in its thread.

T.W. North · 05-23-2008, 02:59 AM

Another one that could do with a chorus. No chorus' are fine, but you seem to overdo them. This reminds me alot of Soilwork and Mercenary, but without the crunch of a chorus. And yes..compared to your other lyrics its fairly cliche, which as I've often said isn't too bad a thing, but in an album of better lyrics...its a definet (sp? my god, I can't believe I don't know how to spell that) filler. It also lacks the meaning of your other ones.

Mystery · 05-23-2008, 08:01 AM

I can't really remember how I got pushed to write this actually, I think it was after a movie or something that I felt like doing it and I found it was quite nice. The reason why a lot of my songs lack a chorus is because they work on instrumental hooks, or I just don't label it and repeat it here

, this one also has a bridge-like hook to it. However, another reason why I don't usually use choruses is because I use motivic writing, I repeat segments without much variation so the listener can familiarize with both the music and the oral pattern.

T.W. North · 05-23-2008, 11:31 PM

Ah, fair enough. You don't really here enough of that around.

Damian_Rucci · 06-11-2008, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T.W. North

Ah, fair enough. You don't really here enough of that around.

a men

Great though, this guy is a lyrical master

Raniegh · 07-08-2008, 09:36 PM

I really like this. The first two lines are my favorite.