Soul -- title archetype - Writers Forum

Mystery · 05-22-2008, 07:49 PM

This one needs a better title in my opinion, but for now its working fine, it is the 2nd track off the album "Blank Pages and Mirrors"(the title track is the 5th if you are wondering).

Rip it up
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soul --

A vagabond met with a warrior
A witch a wizard and a warlock
Come face to face with a holy man
Their spite is cause for difference
And forever and ever they do fight

They taint their souls with mortal devices
With names they have made of nothing
Their faces bear no meaning on them
And yet they choose to command it with words

A murderer kills a victim
And the Victim takes revenge
A mother is a murderer
If her child needs to be avenged

[Is it twisted, or are we and what we have created?]

Living inside mosauleums
Stinking corpses that animate to dance
We show off your cadavers to all who see
And pray that they will envy me

{Are we breeding hate, or are we a product of hates breeding?}

Pure, tainted, sinful, and corrupt
Even a priest knows evil
For he is simply human touched
Crusaders and hunters stalk chosen prey
One mans martyr is nothing more than a man
Your soul is not yours to control
It forms its meaning of its own

[Man, will be overcome
And God? who we built in our image
He has not yet existed to be overcome
And if what lies beyond truly awaits us
A soul, and a universe beyond the tangible
Will it horrify or pacify you?
To find out if you posses the soul of...]

Your Choice
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh and please remember one thing, without offense meant, your difference of opinion or even agreement are not what I'm looking for, and I don't care about them either, don't pester me about my views or put in self-proclaimed humorous sarcasms either.

T.W. North · 05-23-2008, 02:11 AM

Certainly interesting...at first I thought it was going to be one of those dodgy epic power metal songs, but it turned into something difference. Now I see more similarity with early In Flames and Arch Enemy.

...Whats with the ending though? It's also on the title track and it seems weird...and slightly stale to have two songs end with softer ranting (thats what I take the brackets to mean anyway) and then a final message.

As for titles, you have a lot of them rattling around in that song, but their relevance varies...immediately I see 'One Man's Matyr' and 'Beyond the Tangible' but I can't see them fitting so well. Overall, I think 'Built In Our Image' has a lot of merit to it, but it could bring too much focus on religion, which I don't feel is the point. Others I see are 'Human Touched', 'Tainted', 'Posses The Soul'...

P.S. I just noticed that 'every a priest' makes no sense. Typo?

Mystery · 05-23-2008, 07:54 AM

The brackets are the part in instrumental were music quiets down and it's spoken sofly(something I stole from pyramazes "legends of the bone carver", an album which I liked a lot

)

This song's actual influence came from listening to a of power metal songs that have a title like "soul of X" like stratovarius "soul of a vagabond", and I just liked the idea of going against that.

Yeah was a typo btw, I fixed it.

I'll just have to wait and see if I can figure out an all encompassing title.

T.W. North · 05-23-2008, 11:28 PM

Mmm, I've only heard that quietend down bit in a Mercenary album. Didn't work for me, but thats just opinion.

Damian_Rucci · 06-11-2008, 02:42 PM

Very nice, very nice. Dark, and gritty just the way I like it.