kingajcice

Verse 1
-------
Can you hear me?
Or am I just a distant Memory?
Of a time, and of a place,
That our minds can not retrace.

Can you hold me,
And can you find it in your soul,
To listen to me,
Or just let me go...

Chorus
-------
Because I can't seem to find,
The words to describe,
What I feel inside,
The pain I try and hide.

The things I remember,
The ghosts I forget,
The thing that meant something,
The fears that I regret.

Distant Memories,
Distant Memories,
Distant Memories,
Distant Memories...

Verse 2
-------
Can you see me?
Or am I just a ghost?
Do you want me,
To tell you what I want most?

Can you help me?
Or is it already through,
Is it over yet,
Or can I still pick and choose...

Chorus

Distant,
Distant Memories,

Distant,
Distant Memories,

Because I can't seem to find,
The words to describe,
My intolerable life,
And all my sacrifice!

Because I can't seem to break,
All of my mistakes,
I thought you should know,
That I can not let go...

(Slow)
Distant Memories,
Distant Memories,
Distant Memories,
Distant Memories,

(No Music) Distant Memories, of now...

__________________
"Life's a box of crackers,"
"How?"
"I don't know,"

Tom

Sorry Kinga, I just didn't find it as good as your other. It was nicely worded and had alot of deep meaning but seemed ever so cliche personally. Maybe it's because I wrote a song once called Distant Memories and got similiar responses, but I just feel concept you've created has been sung a little to much. Of course, it could be very good as it's not what the story is, it's how you tell it.

Tom.

__________________

Nefieslab

i'm not with Tom on this one. i like it. But the end is what i personally like about it.

(No Music) Distant Memories, of now...

this is because i think that a song with only lyrics at the end is recieved better than a song that is nothing but deep lyrics and piano all the way through till the very end. So i personally like it.

__________________
Some fan fiction on Gundam Seed and Wing

Tom

And...and...I thought you loved me...*sob*

Hmm, how can you not be with me when I said I liked it? Just didn't like the concept? Huh, huh, huh? And alot of Lyrics have no music at the end, it's what makes them stand out so I am with Nefie on this one

__________________

Nefieslab

damn... i just wanted to sound original! :'(

__________________
Some fan fiction on Gundam Seed and Wing

kingajcice

Well I'm glad you liked the other one so much, and yeah I thought it might be noted that it is a bit cliche, but the beat came to me in my head.(It's a rock song by the way, alternative really), and I just couldn't deny it, so I picked out the first lyrics that came to my head and went with it.

Thanks guys

__________________
"Life's a box of crackers,"
"How?"
"I don't know,"

Mystery

It seems like a big duck n shuffle of some cliche'd ideas, but it has nice variations with good vocabulary and some nice phrasing, I'd work on eliminating the points that seem to stick out from repetition(in other words, what you've heard many times before) to make it better, notice, better, which means its good, but has room for improvement.

Edited for clarity and precision.

__________________
Let's drown all our sorrows and we'll be gone till tomorrow...

Dies Irae, Dies Ilia, Solvet Saeclum In Favilla...

Yes, must still shut up.

kingajcice

I don't see why the but comes in. If it's not good, then it has room for improvement. Was it a typo or something?

__________________
"Life's a box of crackers,"
"How?"
"I don't know,"

Mystery

Yeah, this kind of thing happens at 4 am...
I meant to say,

"it's good, but it has room for improvement"

My bad.

__________________
Let's drown all our sorrows and we'll be gone till tomorrow...

Dies Irae, Dies Ilia, Solvet Saeclum In Favilla...

Yes, must still shut up.

kingajcice

No, don't worry about it, I was just wondering. I see everything you said though, and thanks for the advice. I'm looking at your really long song now, and I'm frankly surprised at how long it is if it's slow. I haven't read it though, I'm going to do that now.

__________________
"Life's a box of crackers,"
"How?"
"I don't know,"