"Never Beating Heart" - Hard Rock/ Hard Alternative - Writers Forum

Damian_Rucci · 05-20-2008, 05:15 AM

Code:

Hello everyone, I wrote this song late last night so hopefully it came out right. This song is based to hard rock/ or hard alternative. Thanks for reading.

I am a hidden broken heart
That's only woken in the dark
But then there's light
I am a never spoken word
That's never uttered till your sure
But then you leave.

I am a forgotten old friend
That is discarded like the dead
But then there's life
I am that never ending stare
That makes you wish that she would care
But then there's him

*Chorus*
I am that ever growing fear!
That makes you wonder why you're here!
But then you stop
Those voices in your head
That you could of sworn were dead
But now they're back

Back!
Hearts share one beat
You swore mine was back
No pulse, no pulse
To my, never beating heart
Only numbness in the dark
Back, not back!

I am that never shining black
That makes you wonder why I'm back
But then I'm gone
I am that never ending song
That makes you wonder all along
If you were wrong

*Chorus*

Nefieslab · 05-20-2008, 01:27 PM

good lyrics. only one idea to contribute,

I am that ever growing fear!
That makes you wonder why you're there!

May i suggest that instead of There, you use Here?

Damian_Rucci · 05-20-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nefieslab

good lyrics. only one idea to contribute,

I am that ever growing fear!
That makes you wonder why you're there!

May i suggest that instead of There, you use Here?

Thanks for your comment and good idea don't know why I put that

PrisonerOfPrey · 05-20-2008, 05:56 PM

But then there's light

I think it's sounds better as there is. When I tried to envision it I heard something very reminiscent of stone sours I'm Looking At you Through The Glass.

Nefieslab · 05-20-2008, 11:37 PM

i think the chorus is too violent to be compared to I'm Looking At You Through The Glass but other than that it's a good point

Damian_Rucci · 05-21-2008, 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrisonerOfPrey

But then there's light

I think it's sounds better as there is. When I tried to envision it I heard something very reminiscent of stone sours I'm Looking At you Through The Glass.

Usually when I work with a song I base it off of another beat, however this one I came up with in my head. The pattern is three line breaks it goes by syllable's 8, 8, 4. And I have a very basic beat down on guitar, the chorus is very heavy being shown by the exclamation. The piece its self is not too heavy but the chorus and the bridge after the chorus are both pretty heavy.

Damian_Rucci · 05-26-2008, 08:19 PM

Damian_Rucci · 05-31-2008, 07:25 PM

Brendan M · 06-07-2008, 01:05 PM

Wow.. Just wow. I can imagine it. Why don't you record a scrubby version and upload it?

Damian_Rucci · 06-07-2008, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brendan M

Wow.. Just wow. I can imagine it. Why don't you record a scrubby version and upload it?

Thanks! I would but I'm pretty damn crappy at guitar. I keep getting promised lessons but I never get them. So I'm learning it on my own. So hopefully when I get better I'll do that.

Brendan M · 06-07-2008, 03:36 PM

Even sing it? Seriously, I'd love to listen to this song. I love it! The first 2 versus have super impact.

Well done man.

Tom · 06-07-2008, 04:02 PM

Just don't ever put it on youtube.

God, school was such an embarassement the next day.

Brendan M · 06-07-2008, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom

Just don't ever put it on youtube.

God, school was such an embarassement the next day.

*Brendan grins Heh! Interesting..

Tom · 06-07-2008, 04:08 PM

Oh, it's off it now. I decided to show of my lyrics, then realised that my school can't take that sort of thing seriously but was too late by then.

But hey, Chavs and there devices will not bring me down lol.

Damian_Rucci · 06-11-2008, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brendan M

Even sing it? Seriously, I'd love to listen to this song. I love it! The first 2 versus have super impact.

Well done man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom

Oh, it's off it now. I decided to show of my lyrics, then realised that my school can't take that sort of thing seriously but was too late by then.

But hey, Chavs and there devices will not bring me down lol.

Brendan, I guess I have kind of but I lack in musical talent so

Thanks for the comment man.

Tom, ouch that must of sucked