kingajcice

I woke up, today was the day
Do I regret anything?
As a matter of fact, yes I do
I regret not loving you,

The way I should, the way I can,
Is there anything else that I regret?
As a matter of fact, yes there is,
I regret not knowing this...

Chorus:

The wind blows still after we die,
and we can't remember the times we've cried,
because the preachers speak out, and the angels sing,
what do I regret, oh everything.

If it's my turn to fall,
if it's my turn to go,
I would remember,
this final show,

If it's my turn to die,
if it's my turn to go,
I would remember,
one last show,

Death row

Heroes come, Heroes go,
But death lives on forever,
Love lays deep inside our hearts,
but so does greed and treasure,

I regret,
but I do seek,
redemption,
but not for me,

The world is at a loss,
of knowing what is gone,

because

Chorus

And murder seeks not just sorrow,
and the wise seek not just life,
For there will be tomorrow,
but will there be a light?

Chorus

(No Music) Because the wind blows still after we die,
and we can't remember the times we've cried,

If it's my turn to fall, if it's my turn to go,
What would I remember, I would remember it all,

If it's my turn to go,
I would remember life's long journey,
So if it's my turn to go,
I would leave with my dignity,

from death row,

__________________
"Life's a box of crackers,"
"How?"
"I don't know,"

Monkuta

A bit dark for my taste, but I think it's good. I could see how it can be very meaningful as a retrospective look on life. I did notice that in the second verse, you wrote, "But death live on forever". Is this a typo and should be "But death lives on forever" or is death being plural here?

__________________
Monkuta's Favorite Quotes: "Time is our greatest teacher. Unfortunately, it kills most of its' pupils." - Louis Hector Berlioz; "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." - Anonymous; "The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on." - Robert Bloch; "Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway." - Anonymous

kingajcice

Thank you, I'll fix it.

__________________
"Life's a box of crackers,"
"How?"
"I don't know,"

T.W. North

Ooh, this could work. This could work so well. I actually think it should be shorter, you can cut out the bridge and the third chorus without a worry. I feel the first verse is the building of the momentum, and the second verse still has the crashing pace of the chorus (but different, obviously). Having the bridge/chorus afterwards seems a little crass to me and certainly too generic for this song. The way Im saying you'll have

Build up/massive/massive/massive/all momentum is lost and then gained again for a finale. Perfect.

kingajcice

I agree getting rid of the third chorus, it wasn't really supposed to be there in the first place when I first wrote the song. However, I don't know about getting rid of the bridge, I personally think that the bridge(I think we're talking about the same thing of course) is really the main hitting point of the song, and it really is the main message I'm trying to bring into the song.

Maybe not though, I don't know. Thank you for the critique of course, I'm always happy to get a review, good or bad.

__________________
"Life's a box of crackers,"
"How?"
"I don't know,"

T.W. North

I mean this part:

And murder seeks not just sorrow,
and the wise seek not just life,
For there will be tomorrow,
but will there be a light?

I think its a bit crass and pretentious to throw that in anyway, despite that it disrupts from the flow of the song.